Creepy ... crawly ... creepy ... crawly ... creepycreepycrawlycrawly, creepycreepycrawlycrawly ... Certainly no one every musically expressed humanity's inherent fear of the creepy crawlies better than The Who in the 1966 John Entwistle-penned song "Boris the Spider". This number was an ode to one particular ill-fated spider, but it smartly illustrated the strange, seemingly inborn fear the majority of us have of bugs ... yuck!

With the release of Guillermo del Toro's director's cut of his buggy nightmare Mimic on September 27th, we at Dread Central have decided to take a look back at ten of our favorite bug-themed films throughout the years. Here they are, numbered, but in no particular order. Entomologists, this one's for you.

1. Although there are a slew of films we can use to kick this off, I think it's only right to go with The Fly because it was a hit not for one generation, but two. Also, it spawned three sequels between the two versions of the film so it's also one of the longest running bug film franchises ever.

Of course the original 1958 film is best known for its ending with the partially transformed Andre Delambre-fly caught in the spider's web, begging for help. The scientist was as much a sympathetic victim as he was a monster. Things changed dramatically, however, with David Cronenberg's 1986 remake. Enter the Brundlefly.

Jeff Goldblum created a much more horrific vision in the retelling of The Fly. A more powerful, aggressive and vengeful creature, Brundlefly would go on to be an icon of modern horror.

2. Although a giant partially mutated fly is really off-putting, the true terrors of the bug movies normally come in the form of the swarm. One of the most successful mainstream bug flicks of all time brilliantly utilized the swarm. Arachnophobia with Jeff Daniels, Harley Jane Kozak and John Goodman was a big box office success, combining laughs with a combination of swarming spiders and one bigass boss arachnid at the end.

In that same vein, 11 years later David Arquette starred in a bigger, more elaborate spider movie. Eight Legged Freaks took the CGI route to create the biggest, nastiest army of giant eight-leggers on record thus far.

3. And as spider movies go, Arachnophobia and Eight Legged Freaks could certainly give you the willies, but it was another classic arachno flick that I found much creepier. After watching a video copy of the 1977 William Shatner opus Kingdom of the Spiders, I had a literal freak out attack.

The story goes like this: I was in bed that night after watching the film. Half-asleep, I got that inevitable creepy-crawly feeling that almost obligatorily comes with watching a bug movie. Somewhere between consciousness and dreamland, my brain decided the spiders had come to get me, at which time I leapt out of bed (literally going from flat on my back to standing up straight in less than a second) only to find, of course, no tarantula infestation in my bed. Gods be thanked.

4. Another memorable swarm came in a segment of 1982's Creepshow. The final tale of the film, written by Stephen King specifically for the film, was entitled "They're Creeping Up On You". The fact that E.G. Marshall as the lead character was an obsessive germ-o-phobe made the final attack by a sea of cockroaches that much more repulsive. Honestly, is there anything worse than a head full of roaches?

5. And we must not forget to mention the giant pests of the '50s. These were the true forerunners of the genre. And due to the fact that the people of that time were completely freaked out by the ever-present Cold War and threat of nuclear disaster, this fear was the origin of some of the best giant bugs. This was the case in Them!. A true trailblazer for the genre, even being nominated for an Academy Award, Them! was the story of an attack by nuclear enhanced ants which would go on to inspire countless giant bugs in the future.

6. One of those huge monsters inspired by Them! would show up just one year later in 1955 to build on the giant insect film genre. Tarantula went right for the jugular, preying on America's arachnophobia with a gargantuan spider on a rampage. Although the F/X make today's audiences chuckle, Tarantula was quite cutting edge for the time. And considering it was nearly 60 years ago, we've got to take our hats off to the filmmakers. An enjoyable classic.

7. And as far as giant bugs go, no one could lay claim on the title of Giant Bug Hall of Famer more righteously than the one and only Mothra. The veteran of 17 films and several video games, Mothra has been appearing in movies since her self-titled original in 1961. Her battles with Godzilla are legendary, and although technically she must be thought of as a hero, there is no denying the creep factor of a bug that damn big, good guy or not.

8. Of course we mustn't forget the interplanetary bug. Battling on the planet of Klendathu, the heroes of Starship Troopers were a huge hit at the box office, spawning loads of sequels. The arachnid-like bugs they battled may not have been the inspiration for a lot of sleepless nights, but they were some relentless sons of bitches and pretty rough on the eyes, too ... ugh.

9. One of my personal favorite bug movies involves bugs that aren't actually there at all. Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon took us all on a descent into paranoid madness in the psychological thriller Bug. With top-notch performances by the two leads accentuated by a brilliant Harry Connick, Jr., Bug is a unique and thoroughly entertaining romp through the crazy patch.

10. And we may as well go full-circle here and end the list with Guillermo del Toro's Mimic. A genetically engineered insect known as The Judas Breed (Doesn't everything with 'Judas' in the title sound kickass? Thanks, Halford!) raises holy hell when the creators of the strain realize they didn’t just 'die out' like expected. Now they've mutated ... and they can do what?! Highlighted by an ambiance that will have you leaving the lights on at night, Mimic definitely delivers on the bug-fueled chills.

There's a quick ten from the world of insect-inspired dark entertainment. Enjoy the director's cut of Mimic, and by all means don't stick your hand in any dark places without looking in there first. There might be something waiting for you. Creepy ... crawly ... creepy ... crawly ...

On October 14th Lucky McKee's new film The Woman (review here), adapted from the Jack Ketchum novel, will open in limited release. It's the story of a feral woman and the unfortunate family who attempts to civilize her. Believe me, this chick needs more than finishing school.

To help usher in The Woman, we thought it would be cool to compile a list of 10 of horror's favorite psycho chicks. Yeah, scream queens are one thing, but these ladies are of a completely different ilk. These ladies bring the pain. Here are the 10, in no particular order ...

Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon Zombie in House of 1000 Corpses/The Devil's Rejects)
Let's start off the list with a psycho lady that's got it all. Baby Firefly is hot as hell, horny, vicious and absolutely devoid of mercy. But on top of her obvious physical beauty and bloodletting skills, Baby tends to bring a bit of levity to her scenes. Need I remind you of "Tutti fuckin' frutti"? Throughout the course of two films we see Baby harden and grow colder, culminating in the climactic finality of Rejects. Going down in a shower of gunfire and fighting right to the end, Baby Firefly was the definition of an antihero.

Mallory Knox (Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers)
In the same vein as Baby Firefly, Juliette Lewis introduced us to a real doozy with Mallory Knox. A perfect complement to Woody Harrelson's Mickey Knox, Mallory was just as psychotic as her escapee husband as they tried to keep one step ahead of Tom Sizemore's Detective Jack Scagnetti, who, by comparison, may have been crazier than both of them. (The character, I mean, not Sizemore, although he does have his moments.)

Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates in Misery)
Whenever I'm working on a list like this, I always like to ask around and get the opinions of others to compare what they think to what I have on my list. When I asked for crazy female characters, the same name kept popping up…Annie Wilkes. For those of you who don't immediately place that name, that's the character responsible for one of the greatest "Oh shit!" movie moments of all time. Annie Wilkes loves Misery Chastain, a character in a series of novels written by Paul Sheldon (played brilliantly by Jimmy Caan). And we all know where I'm going with this. Without going into all the ankle-breaking details we're all familiar with already, let's just say when Annie demonstrates just exactly what 'hobbling' is on Paul, audiences were left with an image that would stick with them for a long, long time.

Asami Yamazaki (Eihi Shiina in Audition)
We go international for this next psycho chick. And we can keep it very simple here. Director Takashi Miike made it abundantly clear that some ladies simply should not be fucked with. If you think staging a fake audition to help find a new wife is a good idea, then I've got just the film for you. And I'm sure all of you know a rabid young wannabe actress. Do you see them responding any differently if they found out the dream role they just won was a ruse? The piano string would be the least of your worries.

La Femme (Beatrice Dalle in A l'interieur (Inside)
Okay, here was a woman that was extremely difficult to get along with. We stay international here with the French film we Stateside call Inside. And this one falls right in step with some of the other intense French films we've seen lately. (Certainly the babes from High Tension or Frontier(s) could have found their way onto this list.) Absolutely mysterious throughout the film, La Femme is an extremely efficient killing machine bent on getting back what was taken from her. When you start your evening's attack by trying to cut a baby out of a woman's womb, it's tough to build on that. La Femme succeeds, planting her firmly on this list.

Carrie White (Sissy Spacek in Carrie)
There are few images in the entire lexicon of horror cinema that stand out bolder than that of Carrie White in her prom dress, drenched in pig's blood with a look in her eyes that is at the same time vacant and maniacal. In reality high school violence has become so horrifically rampant that we'll probably never see another mainstream film like Carrie where a harassed teenage exacts a brutal revenge on her tormentors, but Brian De Palma captured the moment exquisitely in this legendary horror classic that shows what a deadly combination bullying, a religious zealot of a single mom and telekinetic powers can be.

Esther Coleman/Leena Klammer (Isabelle Fuhrman in Orphan)
At first I didn't think Esther could appear on this list because it's supposed to be psycho "women". Then I remembered, oh yeah, Esther is a psycho woman. Of course her real name is Leena and she's 33 years old, cursed with hypopituitarism, but those are just details. Again, here in Orphan we have some pretty memorable scenes, not the least of which is Esther (who we assume is about nine years old) trying to seduce her adopted father. If that scene wasn't enough to curdle your milk, you may want to consider professional help.

Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly in the Child's Play series)
Yeah, Chucky started out as a badass, but there's only so much you can do with a three-foot tall puppet. Scalpel or not, you can pretty much keep Chucky at bay by kicking him hard every time he comes near you. Certainly the producers of the later Child's Play sequels realized that and brought Jennifer Tilly along to play Chucky's girlfriend Tiffany. Now, perhaps you would think that dating Alexis Arquette in Bride of Chucky would be the zaniest thing that Tiff would do, but oh no! As it turned out she was just as bad as Chucky, if not worse. Simply put, Tiff was the baddest bitch in the world under three feet tall (and made of plastic).

Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton/Sarah Butler in I Spit On Your Grave)
Okay, all of our other entrants were just kind of born psycho. Some may have had a nudge in the direction of crazy, but most of them were well on their way before we met them. That's not the case here. Jennifer Hills got the crazy raped out of her. Yeah, in the remake she was a little bitchy before the shit went down, but let's be honest; violence was not going to happen without that incredibly thorough raping. These guys definitely asked for it. So even though she was just doling out much needed retribution, Jennifer Hills really went the extra mile (mile and a half in the remake) and thus finds herself on our list.

May Dove Canady (Angela Bettis in May)
Why not go full-circle and end where The Woman director Lucky McKee began? Ah, May…what a beautiful soul you were, just looking for someone to love. For someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't going to stab you in the back the moment you weren't looking. Again we have another unfortunate individual driven to commit unspeakable acts by those around her. May doesn't want to build a friend out of other people's body parts, but in the end we really don't give her a choice, do we? And the fact that she went ahead and built that friend from the beautiful body parts she harvested from her acquaintances lands May squarely on our crazy list.

Honorable Mentions:
A list of crazy women could go on forever (just kidding, ladies!), but here are a few that just missed the cut:

Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Pamela Voorhees in Friday the 13th, Elisabeth Brooks as Marsh Quist in The Howling, Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction, Rebecca DeMornay as Peyton Flanders in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Shawnee Smith as Amanda Young in the Saw series, Charlotte Gainsbourg as She in Antichrist, Geretta Geretta (Giancarlo) as Rosemary in Demoni (Demons), Ellen Sandweiss as Cheryl in The Evil Dead and for feeding, and thus sustaining, man-eating giant crocodiles, Betty White as Mrs. Delores Bickerman in Lake Placid.

Okay, now that we've got you all hopped up on crazy femme fatales, don't forget to check out Lucky McKee's The Woman, hitting theaters on October 14th.

If the name Valora rings a bell, it may be from our coverage of the band's digital comic (look for Chapter 3 soon), but now we have something different. They've released a video for the first single from their debut album, "I Waited for You", and in that its tone is reflective of frontwoman Syd Duran's love of horror films, she took time out of her busy schedule to prepare a list of her Top Ten favorites just for Dread Central readers.

The album is also entitled I Waited for You and opens with the savagely indignant "I Waited For You," a song Syd co-wrote a few years ago. The video features the band giving a dark, passionate live performance while Syd searches for her man through a morbid city, only to find him at a costume themed party messing around behind her back.

I Waited for You was produced by Grammy-nominated Johnny K (Disturbed, Finger 11) and mixed by Neil Avron (Fallout Boy, Linkin Park.) It’s simple and raw – no horns, no synths, no auto-tuned perfection. "The main thing Johnny had to understand about Valora was the feeling I want people to get when they hear my voice," Syd says. "I needed to find a producer that valued vocals as much as I do."

Valora is a six-piece hard rock band from Whittier, California. Backing Syd's powerful vocals are Ryan Villa, Taelor Duran (pictured below with Syd and genre fave Derek Mears at the opening of PERRI INK. Cartel on Melrose in LA), Jared Baez, Kasim Somers, and Kenneth Benson. With the album completed, Valora is ready to hit the road. The band has been playing shows across Southern California, making friends and prepping for big things to come.

As for Syd's Top Ten, here it is:

10. It: Who isn't totally creeped out by clowns and gutter drains as it is?!

9. Scream: This is the film to blame for the stupid, ugly voice I continue to hear sometimes when I answer the phone: "Hellooo Sydnee."

8. The Fly: Flies are already gross. At least now I can appreciate that I am yet to encounter one that transforms into something that wants to kill me.

7. Jeepers Creepers: I watched this over and over again because I had a huge crush on Justin Long. It didn't even bother me that a disgusting creature was collecting human body parts for the walls of his underground hideout.

6. The Crazies: I watched this movie with my sister, Taelor, and every 3 minutes she would say quietly to herself, "That's so crazy." I finally pointed it out, and we couldn't stop laughing.

5. When A Stranger Calls: I used the original film as an example to my parents as to why babysitters are useless, and that I didn't need one.

4. The Ring: I watched this one with my cousin Lauren Nishinaka. She's Asian with long, black hair. Can you see where this is going? She scared the hell out of me that night.

3. Friday the 13th: I USED to be very very afraid of Jason Voorhees until I met Derek Mears in person... Such a lovely man. I will never be afraid of this movie again.

2. Halloween II (2009): For some reason I thought, just for a second, that Michael had a change of heart.. and then bam! Another innocent person is dead!

1. Psycho: I couldn't take a peaceful, non-terrifying shower for weeks.

For more visit the official Valora website, "like"Valora on Facebook, and follow Valora on Twitter.

The horror-comedy. Perhaps the most difficult sub-genre of film to perfect. Most attempts at horror-comedy don't come off well. Either they're too scary without enough comedy or (more frequently) mostly humor with not enough horror. A lot of times they just come across as trying too hard and cheesy. But every once in a while a movie gets it just right. And when that happens, audiences embrace and celebrate the brilliant and elusive successful horror-comedy.

That being said, in celebration of the upcoming release of Trent Haaga's Chop, we did our best to put together a list of 10 horror-comedies (in no particular order) that we feel are the most impressive efforts in the field. Wocka, wocka, wocka!

Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil (2011)
We've seen quite a few attempts at horror-comedy over the past few years, but recently none has been better than Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil. Starring Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine as the title characters, these two hillbillies orchestrate some of the funniest, goriest misunderstandings you'll ever see.

From the chainsaw bees' nest incident to the infamous wood-chipper scene, Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is simply non-stop with the laughs and bloodletting. No, it's not going to keep you awake at night (unless you're tossing and turning with visions of Katrina Bowden dancing through your head), but Tucker and Dale bring so much in the gore department, it more than earns its horror wings. First time director Eli Craig nailed it. A perfect blending of genres.

Dead Alive (aka Braindead) (1992)
Long before he was directing hobbits, wizards, elves and dwarfs around Middle Earth, Peter Jackson worked with characters that would make an orc cringe. In the late 80's/early 90's, Jackson cut his directorial teeth with a couple of splatter films, Bad Taste and the unforgettable Braindead, better known to us Yanks as Dead Alive.

Possessing an undeniable right to call itself a contender for the title of goriest film of all time, Dead Alive holds back nothing. It's a complete and utter assault on the eyes from the moment the infectious bite of the Sumatran Rat Monkey takes hold. With some of the most disgusting zombies you'll ever see, Dead Alive will turn your stomach as you split your gut laughing at the completely over-the-top scenarios our hero, Lionel Cosgrove (played by Timothy Balme), gets himself involved in while trying to keep his zombies inside the house.

House (1986)
This was one of the first films to blend the horror and comedy genres nearly flawlessly. As opposed to many films that fall into the horror-comedy category, House didn't rely on over-the-top gore to achieve the horror tag on the film. Instead, House was actually able to add an element of suspense. It's not easy to get audience members biting their fingernails in suspenseful fear in one scene and then get them laughing at George Wendt in the next. (And you have to love the "Must See TV" collaboration of Wendt from "Cheers" and Richard Moll from "Night Court" in this film.)

Director Steve Miner evoked genuine laughs and frights in the same film. Yes, upon rewatching the film now, 25 years after its initial release, it does lose a bit of its original kick, but House certainly drew up an excellent blueprint for horror-comedies to follow.

Lake Placid (1999)
If hearing Betty White recite the line "If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it!" isn't enough to get this film on the list, I don't know what is. Lake Placid is such an overblown creature feature that humorous dialogue is barely necessary but provided in ample supply.

Also directed by Steve Miner, Lake Placid is like Alligator on performance enhancing drugs. Too big to be true but great to sit back, suspend disbelief and simply enjoy for what it is.

Re-Animator (1985)
Adapted from the H.P. Lovecraft story Herbert West, Re-Animator, this Stuart Gordon directed film launched Jeffrey Combs on his way to becoming one of the most recognizable faces in modern horror. The camp of the film is highlighted in, of course, the oral sex scene that gives new meaning to the term giving head. But comedy is woven throughout the film.

Followed up with two sequels that also contained insane gratuitous gore and a tongue-in-cheek personality, Re-Animator instantly became a must see film among horror fans upon release, and its great F/X and blackly comedic aura have made it a mainstay for the genre.

The Toxic Avenger (1984)
Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz launched the face of Troma Entertainment with the release of The Toxic Avenger. Again, there's not a lot of true chilling horror in this film, but the insane amount of gory F/X makes this film difficult to classify as anything but horror-comedy. Crushed heads abound as The Toxic Avenger romps through Tromaville, trying to (literally) clean up the corrupt city.

Perhaps Hobo With a Shotgun might be the only vigilante film that has approached Toxie's tongue-in-cheek body count. Followed by The Toxic Avenger 2, The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie and Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, it's easy to see how the Troma Team used laughs and massive bloodshed to build their franchise series.

Zombieland (2009)
From Rule #1: Cardio to Double Tap to the Twinkie truck that wasn't, Zombieland took a little different approach to the horror-comedy. This is legitimately scary horror film infused with hilarious dialogue and circumstances. The Bill Murray cameo may be the greatest achievement in the history of horror-comedy.

Woody Harrelson's hard-assed Tallahassee is the perfect complement to Jesse Eisenberg timid Columbus, and the girls prove to be the perfect foils, then partners, for the duo. And if you need any more proof to validate the horror of this film, look no further than the zombie clown. Yikes! Just remember: Always check the back seat, and buckle up.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are absolutely hilarious in this film, which is heavy on the comedy. With a tip of the cap to Romero's Monroeville Mall zombie opus right in the title, Shaun of the Dead launched a new era of horror-comedies, setting the stage for such enjoyable films as Fido, The Cottage and Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer.

From Shaun's clueless walk through the streets to its utterly perfect ending, Shaun of the Dead is one of the greatest combinations of laughs and gore ever produced. Both the F/X and the comedy writing are top notch. A must see.

Return of the Living Dead (1984)
The incidents in and around the Uneeda Medical Supply Warehouse are some of the most memorable in horror. The fact that you watch this zombie invasion laughing your ass off through the entire thing does nothing to take away from the frights. This movie is funny. In fact it contains my all-time favorite zombie, the little person who wipes while pursuing some tasty brains (Howard Sherman's Bub in Day of the Dead is a close second).

The comedy is driven by Thom Mathews and James Karen as the bumbling employees of the warehouse, and the cutting edge F/X drove the horror. Aside from the memorable midget zombie, we were also introduced to the talking zombie torso and the legendary Tarman. You haven't lived until you've seen a dissected dog bark. And, as a teenage boy with raging hormones, I must admit my favorite movie quote had to be…"Hey, somebody get some light over here. Trash is taking off her clothes again." Ah, Trash, your rebellious nature and willingness to strip naked at the drop of a hat made you irresistible!

Evil Dead 2 (1987)
You could include the entire Evil Dead franchise here, I suppose, but The Evil Dead is too far on the horror side of the spectrum, and Army of Darkness leans way too far on the comedy side. But much like Baby Bear's porridge, Evil Dead 2 is just right. Bruce Campbell nailed the physical comedy. He was doing Jim Carrey before Jim Carrey was famous, and he did it with one hand and a cabin full of supernatural creatures trying their damnedest to kill him. No easy task there.

The strengths of this film are two-fold: the performance of Campbell and the awesome F/X team, which contained such masters of the craft as Greg Nicotero, Howard Berger, Robert Kurtzman and Shannon Shea. Evil Dead 2 may be the funniest, scariest film ever made. A perhaps unapproachable model of how the genre should be done.

The horror-comedy ­Chop, is heading to DVD, Video on Demand, and Digital Download on December 27th.

Well, folks, 2011 is officially in the can, and surprisingly it wasn't such a horrendous year. It was definitely better than 2010, which was a huge step up from the putrid 2009. We laughed, we applauded, we were left dumbstruck, and of course we were infuriated. Read on for our cheers and jeers!

Now, with a fresh movie-watching start before us, we're taking our usual yearly look back at the good, the bad, the WTF, and everything in between.

And don't be lazy by just reading along! Get off of your asses and give us your lists in the comments section below. We wanna hear from you if only to compare notes. Lots and lots of notes.

Speaking of notes, the most common complaint we've heard over the years is that we don't have one definitive list representing Dread Central as a whole so for 2011 we dropped everyone's choices in the blender, hit puree, and came out with the overall best and worst of the year, and those films are:

BEST: Attack the Block and Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (tie)
Runner-up: I Saw the Devil

WORST: The Roommate
Runner-up: Hellraiser: Revelations, Red Riding Hood, Creature (three-way tie)

Dig on our individual Best of and Worst of lists for 2011 by following the links below!

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Andrew Kasch's Picks

2011 was a year of slim pickings. Hollywood's growing fear of original content and endless remaking have finally taken its toll on the horror genre, which seems to be entering its biggest dormant phase since the early 90's. Luckily, a few foreign and indie gems slipped through the cracks and reminded us cinephiles just why we turn out to these things to begin with.

I Saw The Devil: This is a bit of a cheat since this was on my Best of list last year. That said, this South Korean revenge masterpiece officially saw its U.S. release in 2011 so I'd be remiss not to include it like every other year-end list.

Black Death: I was hardly a fan of Christopher Smith's films Creep and Severance so color me shocked by how powerful his medieval witch hunt tale turned out to be. A beautifully written and directed film that uses the bubonic plague as a back drop for religious hysteria and fanaticism, this is further proof that Sean Bean and swords is a winning combo every time (Troy excluded).

Attack the Block: Joe Cornish's ghetto kids vs. aliens flick does everything right and actually managed to one up J.J. Abrams' (still great) Super 8. Through clever writing and low-budget ingenuity, Cornish stages this film like an "urban Goonies meets bloody invasion movie" with honest characters and the perfect balance of horror and humor.

The Last Circus: Madman Alex de la Iglesia delivers his best film in years with this beautiful and demented story about dueling circus clowns in post-war Spain. Like a strange cross between A Very Long Engagement and Santa Sangre, this lavishly produced masterpiece leaves no genre untouched and is hilarious, horrific and heartbreaking in equal amounts.

The Woman: While its notorious reputation was overblown thanks to an overly sensitive audience member at Sundance, Lucky Mckee's subversive psychodrama is still a knock-out. I'm a fan of Jack Ketchum's series of cannibal books so it was nice to see his world finally brought to vivid life, led by an Oscar-worthy performance from Pollyanna Macintosh. Psychologically tough and surprisingly funny, The Woman treats its gruesome and potentially exploitive subject matter with real class and intelligence.

Honorable Mentions: Red State, Insidious, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Rubber, Cold Fish and Tucker & Dale vs Evil.

These days my tolerance for Hollywood bullshit has severely waned, so I deliberately skipped out on duds like The Roommate, Case 39, and The Thing premake. And while I still managed to take in generic crap like The Rite and Fright Night, nothing compares to the agonizing experience of sitting through Hellraiser: Revelations - a movie so bad I wouldn't wipe my ass with the DVD sleeve. The lowest point in a franchise you never thought could sink any lower.

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Doctor Gash's Picks

Before I give my list, let me just thank all you guys for reading my stuff and for the great comments you posted all year. This being my rookie season at Dread Central, I needed all the positive feedback I could get! I can't thank Creepy and The Woman in Black enough for making me part of this awesome family. And just think about what an awesome community we all have here at DC, the writers and especially the readers. No other genre of film can claim the unity that we have. You don't see a lot of websites for fans of romantic comedies or dramas. Horror is more than a type of film, it's a union of fans that embrace and hold dear the best of the best (…and we pound the bad ones pretty good, too). If you succeed in horror, really succeed even just once, we'll love you forever. That's what being a horror fan is all about. Thanks for everything, guys!

As for my Top 5, I love the films that get people talking, especially those outside our circle of interest. When a work of horror attracts the attention of the mainstream media, for whatever reason, I'm going to give it credit. No such thing as bad press, Gorehounds! Without further ado…

I Saw the Devil - An absolutely hypnotic South Korean film that brings new meaning to the term "revenge flick". Why just exact your revenge once when you can do it over and over and over again. The story is enthralling, and tension is built masterfully throughout the film, culminating with an amazing climax. The 360-degree taxi cab slash scene was one of the best murders shot in recent times. Great action, violent content and characters that evoked a wide range of emotion from the viewers throughout the film. Awesome!

"The Walking Dead" Season 2 - Talk about horror getting headlines…11 million viewers helped "The Walking Dead" Season 2 premiere smash cable television viewership records. This set the stage as the show proceeded in a bit different format than we saw in Season 1. Now, with 13 episodes to work with (instead of six), the creators of the series have been taking their time, delving much deeper into the characters and how they are dealing with their post-apocalyptic situation. Each survivor evokes a strong reaction from the audience, a reaction that sometimes changes from week to week (Shane, we love you, we hate you, we love you…but you might be the only one who's never lost focus). And if the final scene of the explosive mid-season finale is any sign of things to come, we're in for a real treat when the episodes resume in February.

A Serbian Film - I said I loved movies that generated attention from the outside world, right? Here's one! When the organizer of a film festival gets arrested simply for showing a movie, you know it's going to draw attention. Regardless of whether you felt the outcry over A Serbian Film was justified or a bit overblown, what we all can agree on is this movie contains some extreme imagery that got the world talking. You sympathize for Milos in his drug-induced state, even as he commits one heinous act after another. It's a brutal film that dares you to watch, then unleashes itself on you when you relent. Perhaps too many people got a bit too excited over the content and forgot to keep repeating that famous line from the original promotions for The Last House on the Left: "…It's only a movie…It's only a movie."

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) - Here's another one that stirred the pot. Horror certainly got under people's skin this year. After the original film grabbed publicity from "South Park" and "Tosh.O,"The Human Centipede 2 raised the bar (in many ways). The new film even found itself as a topic of discussion, on more than one occasion, on The Howard Stern Showand had audiences clamoring to check it out. Perfect teaser trailers and tempting one-sheets effectively enticed would-be viewers. Everything director Tom Six implied in the original, he showed you in the sequel. And the choice to film in black-and-white with select color made it an ass-to-mouth Schindler's List. Campy and extremely gruesome in so many ways, The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) brought it to audiences…hard.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - Brilliant! Simply put, this is the film that entertained me the most this year. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil had me from the opening scene, which turned the entire backwoods weirdo sub-genre of horror on its ear. This movie is insanely funny. No, there aren't any scares or mentally disturbing scenes in this one, but the bloodshed is ridiculous! Wood chippers, sticks in the eye, chainsaws, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil is the rare horror-comedy that knocks it out of the park! An amazing effort! Gory…hilarious…vastly entertaining! If for some reason you missed it, go back and check it out. You've got to see this movie!

Honorable Mentions
Stake Land
Troll Hunter
Hobo With a Shotgun
The Orphan Killer

Red Riding Hood - Promotion for the film implied it to be a gruesome horror movie, but we all should have known better than that. Featuring the director of the original Twilight film, Red Riding Hood was never going to be anything more than a weak Twilight wannabe.

Psych:9 - With genre mainstay Michael Biehn and Cary Elwes (who gained some big-time horror credibility with his appearances in the Saw franchise), you'd expect a lot more from this film. You don't get it. A giant, lame snoozefest from start to finish, Psych:9 commits the biggest offense you can in horror…it's boring.

Hyenas - Not even sure how I ended up watching this one. Costas Mandylor (of the Saw series) plays the lead role, but he's not nearly enough to save this film. Apparently the filmmakers thought turning the infected into hyenas instead of wolves was enough to reinvent the genre. It was not.

The Bleeding - This film had a chance to be something. Maybe something along the lines of John Carpenter's Vampires, but oh no, the sucking didn't stop with the vampires. This film sucked right down to its core. They even had Kat Von D, who seems born to play a vamp. Unfortunately, they buried her until the end of the film, leaving us with nothing. P.U.

Unnecessary Remakes - Here's a perfect example of the one bad thing about being a family of horror fans…filmmakers take advantage of us. They prey on our sense of nostalgia and remake films that don't need to be remade. What other genre does this? Any remake of Tommy Boy on the horizon? Didn't think so. Anybody doing Forrest Gump or Pulp Fiction again? Nope. Only horror because filmmakers know we love our movies so they go ahead and do a remake instead of creating a new idea because they know the fans will turn out (usually for a far inferior product). Fright Night, Straw Dogs, The Thing, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark…why?

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

The Foywonder's Picks

5) [REC] 2 - I put this at #2 on my best list last year after watching an import DVD and wasn't planning on putting it on my list again this year for that reason despite it finally getting an American DVD release. Then I figured what the hell - it's that damn good. Since I already ranked it last year, I’m just going to give it my #5 slot this year, and because I'm lazy, I'm just going to repeat what I wrote about it last year, too. [REC] 2 is the very model of how to make a sequel that’s really just more of the same yet feels fresh and delivers everything you liked about the original while expanding upon its mythology in a way that enhances both films. Aside from the motivations that leads to the introduction of a group of dumb teenagers (I refuse to believe any teenagers could be this dumb), this is a smart, scary, exciting dark ride of a movie that delivers the first-person POV thrills I’ve never gotten from the Paranormal Activity films.

4) TROLL HUNTER - The very notion of Hollywood doing an Americanized remake of Troll Hunter is lunkheaded because much of what makes this film so wonderfully kooky can be traced back to its Norwegian roots. Look no further than the designs of the trolls themselves, taken straight out of the pages of Scandinavian fairy tales. At first goofy sights to behold, they quickly become unconventionally menacing when ferociously charging the actors like large, angry, feral, mongoloid Muppets on a rampage. In an age when every movie monster seems to be a riff on Alien or Predator or looks like whatever the hell those things are that keep appearing in JJ Abrams' monster movies, these whimsically horrifying trolls are a true breath of a fresh air. And while the movie - more mockumentary than found footage in my book - can be a bit uneven at times, I was thoroughly riveted by this offbeat excursion into Norwegian troll mythology and the scenic wilds of Norway in pursuit of said behemoths.

3) RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES - I know some people would argue this movie isn't horror. I'd beg to differ. Sure, it's a prequel to a famous science fiction franchise, but take a good look at the story being told, and you'll find a whole lot of Frankenstein and some Island of Dr. Moreau as well. For a movie that wasn’t inherently a horror movie, Rise of the Planet of the Apes successfully pulled off more horror tropes than most every other horror movie of the past year. Without question a movie that turned out far better than it had any right to be. If you had asked me even a month before it opened, I would have told you it was probably going to suck hard and wouldn't make a penny at the box office. Sometimes it's a good thing being dead wrong.

2) ATTACK THE BLOCK - I'm fairly certain this movie is going to turn up very high on the lists of most of my colleagues and reckon anything I write about why I loved it will only echo their sentiments. All I’m going to say is that Attack the Block is the movie I wanted Super 8 to be.

1) TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL - Thinking back on it, I do believe this may have been my favorite movie of the entire year. I've watched it now on four different occasions, each time with a different group of people, and not only have I been thoroughly entertained each time, everyone I've viewed it with has fallen in love with it, too. This type of good-natured horror comedy is rare enough as it is; to be this smart and funny is a revelation and a joy to behold. Great performances. Lovable lead characters. Hysterical death scenes, even the ones you can see coming. There's something to be said for a movie that is just plain fun to watch, and I don't think I've seen anything in all of 2011 that was as fun as Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. Much as was the case with Trick 'r Treat, that this hilarious movie did not get a wide theatrical release is a travesty because I'm willing to bet it would have been a hit. It's certainly been a crowd pleaser to everyone I've shared it with.

Honorable Mentions: Black Death, Chillerama, Sint, Machete Maidens Unleashed, I Saw the Devil, 2012: Ice Age

5) DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT - It was a toss-up between this and Apollo 18. A literal toss-up - I couldn't decide which was worse so I flipped a coin. Lunar ticks get relegated to the "Dishonorable Mention" category, and this year's sorriest excuse for a supernatural buddy comedy takes its well deserved spot in the #5 position of my worst list. The hero is completely devoid of personality. His comic relief sidekick is trying so hard to milk non-existent laughs his flop sweat achieves a Marlon Wayans level of irritation. The whole sorry film is just these two riding around New Orleans questioning various vampires and werewolves, getting ambushed or set up by them, going back to question and fight them again – that could have still been entertaining if the action scenes weren't so dismayingly impoverished - before the insultingly stupid finale in which the unstoppable monster is easily destroyed by its own self-destructive stupidity while the hero the movie is named after bravely lies unconscious in a crumpled heap on the ground. The coin chose wisely.

4) THE ROOMMATE - As soon as I got out of the matinee screening, I phoned up Uncle Creepy and told him that if I wasn't committed to reviewing the film for the site, I would have walked out. I also demanded he refund the $5.50 my ticket cost. Single White Female goes to college and flunks out. Certainly whoever edited at random the last half hour of this dreck flunked out. Despite a plot that involves sex, masturbation, shower scenes, lesbian seduction, murder in the midst of having sex, and tumble drying kittens to death, it's so tame, so lame, so lifeless and stodgy, so unwilling to allow itself to revel in the trashy fun it wanted to be, it'll have you reevaluating the merits of films like Poison Ivy: The New Seduction and The Crush. Worst of all, I never got my $5.50 back.

3) CREATURE - The only good thing about Creature is that one day I will be able to say to people that I was one of the very, very, very, very, very, very few people who actually paid to see Creature in a theater. Then those people will look at me and ask, "What the hell is Creature?" I'll tell you what it is - a movie that broke my monster movie loving heart. Finally, at long last, we get a man-in-a-rubber-monster suit swamp creature feature on the big screen again, and we get one that wouldn’t even have been worth watching for free on Syfy? So very boring, never making any sense, with characters that vanish from the film without a trace, not even making good use of its rubber suit monster, and then has so many endings I expected the last one to be actor Mehcad Brooks returning to the Shire. Just read my review if you really need more reasons this experience was so depressing and its inclusion on this list so deserving.

2) HELLRAISER: REVELATIONS – I’m just going to sum it up this way: Ever see the episode of “The Simpsons” that opens with an extremely bored Homer suffering a boring trip to an apple cider factory? Just watch this brief clip from that episode and imagine Ned Flanders is Hellraiser: Revelations and I’m Homer enduring a half-hour of watching it. Amazingly, I somehow didn’t end up crumpled on the floor.

1) HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2: FULL SEQUENCE – Two years ago I put The Human Centipede on my best list. I kind of wish I hadn’t because apparently all we did was encourage its maker to become so full of himself that for the next sequel Tom Six should just sew his mouth to his own ass since he clearly loves the taste of his own shit. Roger Ebert summed this one up best when he described it as “reprehensible, dismaying, ugly, artless and an affront to any notion, however remote, of human decency.” But Ebert forgot one very important adjective. It's not just full of shit, it’s boring as shit. For all its arthouse Troma movie sensibilities, for all its empty attempts at grotesque shock value, for all its intentions of flipping the bird to critics and fans of the original alike in the most insipid manner possible, I was so bored by the pointlessness and masturbatory antics of this useless sequel I just became numb to it all. The original had the benefit of a great mad scientist performance by Dieter Laser, a truly unique premise that wasn't nearly as disgusting as it sounded, and the director at the time showed a level of self-control completely missing from whatever the hell this bullshit was supposed to be. I realize now that first film wasn’t a centipede, it was a fluke.

Dishonorable Mentions: Apollo 18, Beastly, Cowboys & Aliens, Trail of the Screaming Forehead, Boggy Creek, 1313: Giant Killer Bees

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Heather 'The Horror Chick' Wixson's Picks

* Corman's World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel - In a day and age when genre-related documentaries seem to be all the rage, Alex Stapleton’s Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel arrived late in the year like a huge breath of fresh air and completely blew me away. Chronicling the early years of legendary filmmaker Roger Corman’s career as well as many of his ups and downs throughout the latter part as well, Corman’s World is a revelatory and inspiring work by relative newcomer Stapleton and features a gaggle of in-depth and candid interview subjects (Jack Nicholson cries!) profiling Corman’s influence as the maverick of independent cinema.

If you’ve ever fancied yourself something of a Corman fan, then there’s no doubt Stapleton’s intelligent, entertaining and heartfelt documentary should prove to be right up your proverbial alley, and even if you’ve never seen a single Corman flick in your life (unimaginable around these parts, but not entirely impossible either), then there is no better way to dive right into Corman’s World than Stapleton’s documentary.

* Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - ”We have had ourselves a doozy of a day, officer.”

Starring Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk as the titular characters who are mistaken by a group of college kids as a pair of redneck serial killers, Tucker & Dale’s script is brilliantly crafted by director Eli Craig and his co-writer Morgan Jurgenson- it hits all the right comedic beats as it takes almost every horror cliché fans have grown to love over the last 30 years and turns them squarely on their head with often hilarious results.

Call me an old softie, but as a horror fan I generally like my movies more on the light and campy side, and Tucker & Dale is just that. Anchored by great comedic performances by Labine and Tudyk and coupled with a refreshingly natural-feeling love story, the movie succeeds because while it’s parodying the genre as a whole, it’s done with respect for both the horror fans watching and the horror movies that have preceded it (take note, Joseph Kahn- this is how you pay homage). It may be somewhat on the schmaltzy side to call Tucker & Dale the feel-good genre flick of the year, but dammit, who cares- Craig’s story is both humorous and adorable, the kills are both hysterical and gory and frankly, I’d prefer to hang out with these hillbillies over the ones in the Wrong Turn franchise any day.

* Attack the Block - For a movie that I’ve written about several times already this year, I’m sort of out of ways to describe my love for writer/director Joe Cornish’s Attack the Block. A movie that had an insane amount of hype coming out of this year's SXSW Film Festival, I was unsure of what to expect going into the flick when I finally had the chance to see it for myself this past July. And while it's no secret that I completely fell in love with Attack the Block, what impressed me more was that the movie truly lived up to the hype (a rarity these days).

Attack the Block is like Cornish's love letter to so many of the favorite films so many of us fans discovered as kids growing up during the 70s or 80s; and yet, what manages to elevate Attack the Block above its peers is how the film cleverly walks the homage line but somehow manages to never come off feeling like it's trying to rip-off any of the films it's paying tribute to either. With hints of ET, The Monster Squad, Gremlins, The Warriors and The Goonies, Attack the Block is easily the best alien-themed flick of the year (sorry Super 8, Cowboys & Aliens and The Thing prequel) with PRACTICAL effects used the entire time (imagine that?).

* Rise of the Planet of the Apes - I love being right.

From the very first frame of the very first trailer released for Rise of the Planet of the Apes, I was sold. As a huge fan of the original Planet of the Apes series, it finally seemed like someone understood what fans were looking for in a contemporary addition to our beloved original franchise. There were a lot of naysayers online who lamented over the use of digital apes and James Franco's wooden stares, but this writer's enthusiasm for the prequel never waned once- I was ready to see just how the rise of the apes began on the big screen for myself, and a bunch of internet chatter wasn't getting in the way of that. And somehow Rise of the Planet of the Apes actually managed to exceed my already high expectations, and part of that was because director Rupert Wyatt made sure to pay attention to what makes an Apes film truly successful- the apes themselves. Whereas Burton's were all mostly angry and one-dimensional, Wyatt delivered to us not only a chimpanzee leader in Andy Serkis that fans could believe in but several more primates that made the flick all the more enjoyable as well (including Maurice the orangutan).

If you missed Rise of the Planet of the Apes while it was in theaters, then do yourself a favor and make sure you see it now that the movie has hit all the home release formats. While there have been a lot of great action films of 2011, Rise definitely leads the pack in terms of creating a kickass movie with brains and heart (and an epic bridge battle that will leave actionphiles breathless to boot).

* Hobo With a Shotgun - A brilliant effort by first-time feature director Jason Eisener, Hobo With a Shotgun is pure sleazy cinematic gold for fans of grindhouse-style filmmaking. Not only do you have Rutger Hauer starring as the titular character, but you also get an evil crime lord named The Drake (the delightfully malicious Brian Downey), two wannabe crime lord sons who aren’t afraid to torch a bus full of kids to get some attention, a pair of Goth Thunderdome-looking assassins named "The Plague" who unleash holy hell around "Scum Town" as well as the proverbial hooker with the heart of gold (Molly Dunsworth) who does unspeakable things to assailants with her arm (wouldn't want to ruin it for those of you who haven't seen it for yourself yet) when provoked.

With touches of a number of Troma films as well as Evil Dead, Blue Velvet, Mad Max, Death Race and, oddly enough, the first live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hobo With a Shotgun is by far one of the most ingenious and depraved films of 2011.

Honorable Mentions:Insidious, Troll Hunter, Paranormal Activity 3, Contagion, Stake Land, The Perfect Host, Drive Angry 3D, The Catechism Cataclysm, Midnight Son

* Fading of the Cries - Fading of the Cries is the perfect example of ambition getting the best of a first-time feature filmmaker. In this horror/sci-fi/fantasy/pseudo-action/romance mash-up, director Brian Metcalf relies too much on his visual effects skills rather than taking some time to trim down just a few of the dozens of genre clichés featured throughout the film. Not to mention the film stars the one American Pie actor I've never liked (Thomas Ian Nicholas) and makes poor Brad Dourif into some sort of schlocky evil wizard with a hero that’s a complete rip-off of Brandon Lee from The Crow and Atreyu from The Neverending Story. I still cannot believe that not only did someone spend money to make this movie, but it actually made it into theaters.

* Savage County - Ugly and completely uninspired, Savage County dumbed down an otherwise strong year for the slasher subgenre of horror. With a plot that was clearly borrowed from its predecessors - including The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, House of 1000 Corpses and Wolf Creek - it’s obvious first-time director David Harris enjoys the horror genre because he clearly borrowed from it over and over (and over) again in Savage County. If you missed seeing this one in 2011, consider yourself lucky.

* Detention - While I've seen a lot of bad movies in 2011, the only one that felt like it assaulted every single one of my senses was Detention, which I screened during the SSSW Film Festival. Generally I'm known around these parts as one of the more forgiving reviewers, but Detention had me so riled up by the end that I was ready to tip some cars and burn shit in the parking lot. Detention is just a serious travesty of bad acting, mundane pop culture references, nonsensical plots and insulting horror movie "homages" which end up playing like Joseph Kahn's own statement on how stupid he thinks the modern horror genre is. Loud, unintelligent and painfully annoying- stay out of Detention if you can!

* The Howling: Reborn - The Howling: Reborn manages to hold up the legacy of just truly awful Howling movies that have followed in the footsteps since the release of Joe Dante's original film back in 1981, which begs the question- just why is it so hard to get a Howling sequel right? I guess The Howling: Reborn director Joe Nimziki is still looking for that answer himself based on his efforts here. Flawed, soulless and overall boring, The Howling: Reborn could have been a great new start for the long-suffering Howling franchise but sadly ends up being even worse than anything we've seen in the Twilight series (if you can imagine that).

* Straw Dogs - I'm not opposed to the idea of remakes at all, but if you're going to have the balls to remake a classic like Sam Peckinpah's Straw Dogs, then I think it goes without saying that you damn well better have something pretty freaking spectacular tucked up your sleeve to wow audiences with. I guess someone forgot to tell director Rod Lurie, though, because all he managed to deliver in his reimagining was a bland and mediocre psychological thriller with no sense of tension or intelligence to speak of- oh, and don't even get me started on Dominic Purcell's groan-inducing performance as a mentally-challenged man. There are really only two words needed to effectively sum up the Straw Dogs remake: triumphant failure.

Dishonorable Mentions: Cowboys & Aliens, Battle: Los Angeles

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Gareth Jones' Picks

The Devil’s Business - The year’s unsung British success -- Sean Hogan’s intimate micro-budget exercise in simple spooky atmospherics delivers a tight script, endearing performances and a frighteningly oppressive ambience straight from the house of Hammer. See it.

Insidious - Director James Wan continues to flex his cinematic muscle to admirable effect as he once again knocks it out of the park with Insidious. An engaging story and some very clever use of basic horror machinations play second fiddle to some of most unsettling visuals, knife-edge editing and roof-raising frights to grace the big screen in 2011.

Kidnapped - I know – technically, it’s a 2010 release, but 2011 is the year that Miguel Ángel Vivas’ stunning Kidnapped made its way to UK’s FrightFest, where it subsequently burned itself into my brain. The most horrific, brutal and sheer vicious piece of cinema you’re likely to have seen in a long time, Kidnapped is completely unforgiving – and completely unforgettable.

A Lonely Place to Die - In the strictest sense a thriller (shoot me), Julian Gilbey’s A Lonely Place to Die remains one of the most memorable cinematic experiences of 2011. Breathtaking locations and cinematography, a top-notch cast, despicable villains, impactful violence and pulse-pounding action all come together to deliver just what we all crave: a really great time at the movies.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - It’s rare that a horror/comedy hybrid manages to scrape its way onto year-end lists so it’s a distinct pleasure to place Eli Craig’s criminally delayed exercise in pure delight, Tucker & Dave vs. Evil, on mine. Leads Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk make an effortlessly lovable pair of buffoons, and the constant stream of gags and horror fan service make this a wild and splatterific trip that any genre fan will bust a gut over.

Vile - A film whose very raison d’être is to take advantage of the most base elements of the torture porn sub-genre, Vile is doubly disappointing in its steadfast refusal, or inability, to actually deliver on the repugnant goods. Coupled with a hateful bunch of central characters interacting like utter idiots, plot holes galore and a complete absence of logic, it’s a recipe for a completely worthless waste of time and effort.

The Tapes - A lazy, inept and nigh on cynical attempt at cashing in on the found footage craze, this British offering is barely watchable. The leads are hideously annoying, unlikable cretins, and the plot itself was obviously sharted onto the page as a complete afterthought. Barely one single redeeming quality exists in this turgid black hole of entertainment.

The Theatre Bizarre - How a group of obviously talented and incredibly creative storytellers and filmmakers can come together to make something so incredibly plodding, overwrought and just sheer dissatisfying is mind-boggling – but The Theatre Bizarre manages to do it. Even the legendary Richard Stanley embarrasses himself with a shaky, uneven and unintentionally hilarious segment amongst the various shorts on display – the best of which isn’t even a horror film. A crying shame all round.

Bad Meat - Rob Schmidt’s unfinished tale of juvenile delinquents terrorised by a rehabilitation camp’s brutish staff turned feral cannibals starts off relatively promising. Characters begin to develop nicely, and an abundance of offbeat humour and splashing bodily fluids lend the feeling of Troma’s heyday output. Then, just as we’re led to the inevitable fight for the protagonists’ lives... scenes are missing, and the film ends. Framed by a completely nonsensical wraparound in an obvious attempt to make something of a film only half of which was actually shot, it ends up being the cinematic equivalent of being churlishly told to fuck off out of the theatre halfway through with no refund. Directed by Lulu Jarmen? I’m still trying to work out just which particular insult that’s an anagram of...

11-11-11 - Darren Lynn Bousman’s attempt at apocalyptic religious horror proves itself to be nothing more than a theological snooze-fest. Lead actor Timothy Gibbs feels out of place the entire time as he forces his way through repeated scenes of spiritual disagreements, and the otherworldly villains (while sporting some pretty neat demonic makeup) are distinctly non-threatening. A tone of utter seriousness and self-importance leaves botched attempts at spookiness landing on the wrong side of humorous, all topped off with a stab at aforementioned director James Wan’s style of flashback-revelation ending that reveals nothing surprising whatsoever. 11-11-11 is the big-screen turkey of the year.

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Matt Fini's Picks

2011 wasn’t a good year for mainstream horror. James Wan’s Insidious was the only breakout hit for first ten months of 2011, and it’s obvious that the PG-13 rating helped it along. Meanwhile, half a dozen other releases disappeared into box office obscurity after one weekend of pitiful business each. Over the summer Paramount’s Super 8 was a marginal success that seems to have already faded from audience consciousness. Then Paranormal Activity 3 opened in October, grossing a staggering $202 million (worldwide) off of a paltry $5 million budget. It showed that audiences were still willing to turn out for an established franchise while highlighting a much bigger issue: Why doesn’t anyone turn out for original horror anymore?

Argue that there wasn’t much good in theaters this year. I won’t disagree. Films like Season of the Witch, Fright Night and The Thing were hardly worthy of audience attendance, but why don’t studios show a little more confidence in their indie titles? None of the movies on this “Best of 2011” list were ever going to be blockbusters, but with the right marketing some of these might’ve stood a chance of pulling down a few bucks. I guess it’s easier for smaller companies to release directly to VOD/home video rather than spend crucial dollars on making the public aware of a film they A) most likely won’t see because they don’t recognize the cast or B) won’t understand anyway, but when box office attendance is this low month after month, it may be time for these companies to consider giving us some interesting alternatives to warmed over Hollywood junk.

Because it’s that Hollywood junk that continues to disillusion: The older I get, the easier it is to throw around the old ”they just don’t make ‘em like they used to” cliché. To use the aforementioned examples, walking out of both Fright Night and The Thing, it’s all too easy to bemoan the lack of quality writing, direction and overall craftsmanship intrinsic of the modern-day genre – especially when recalling superior (and earlier) versions of reheated material. But when it comes time to reach back into the memory banks for a long think regarding new and enjoyable horror films, I find there’s still plenty to like. And 2011 is no different. It may require some digging to find all these diamonds in the rough, but the effort is well worth the time of any hardcore horror fanatic.

So, without further ado, I present to you, dear reader, my best/worst of 2011, with a few honorable/dishonorable mentions added in for good measure. Enjoy, and please leave your own lists below. It wouldn’t be a year-end list without seeing what stood out in your minds, too, after all.

5.Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - What surprises most about Eli Craig’s Tucker & Dale vs. Evil is that it shouldn’t have worked. Not as a feature. It’s pretty much a one-note joke, albeit one that never overstays its welcome thanks in part to the fantastic energy of its cast and the ingenuity of the setpieces. Loaded with more comedic misunderstandings than an entire season of Three’s Company, it’s a film that knows how to entertain. It’s also the film I was thinking of when I said some of these indie flicks might’ve stood a chance at making some box office; it’s funnier than any other comedy released this year.

4.Bereavement - Stevan Mena’s prequel to Malevolence is a pitch-perfect throwback to 1970s filmmaking. A film that’s unafraid to tell its audience about its characters before plunging them into the unspeakable horrors that await. It’s also pretty smart. Mena is an intelligent writer and has plenty of parallels to explore in this story of family matters and upbringing. Performances are uniformly strong, and the story is bleak and unexpected (more so if you watch this beforeMalevolence, which is recommended). It may contain one murder setpiece too many in the first act, but there’s plenty of tension and suspense to be found throughout.

Word is that Mena has one more movie to go in this proposed trilogy, and I’m hoping to see him tackle this story sooner rather than later.

3.Attack the Block - While just about every website was busy proclaiming Attack the Block as the best movie of 2011, I was tempering my expectations. Could this little flick about an alien invasion in an inner city slum really be a genre great? Turns out the answer is "yes!" Joe Cornish’s little monster flick plays out like Inner City Critters with strong characters (who you hate at first and then grow to like), an effective locale and a pulsing musical score (very Carpenter-esque) for extra ambiance. Plus, how cool are those creatures? It’s a lot of fun while managing to be unexpectedly moving as well. Forget the forced schmaltz of Super 8, this is a far superior version of kids vs. aliens that should’ve had a chance in wide release this summer.

2.I Saw the Devil - An absolutely brutal serial killer flick becomes an even more vicious revenge thriller. I Saw the Devil is a brilliant example of taking its characters into the ugliest rabbit hole imaginable: where there is no good outcome, no shot at redemption or heroics. Sure, we’ve got a protagonist, and it’s easy to cheer his unorthodox methods, but the ultimate cost is great, and the ride this film takes us on is both emotionally and physically draining. The futility of vengeance has never been made clearer, and it’s an experience its audience won’t soon forget.

1.Black Death - A masterful and, as of now, still underlooked little gem of a film. Shades of Robin Hardy’s original Wicker Man are all over this, but it’s the way Black Death challenges the beliefs and ideals of its protagonist that resonates to create a substantial experience. Tackling religion is always a tricky subject, but writer Dario Poloni’s screenplay explores these issues without ever preaching. Whether or not this story is pro/anti-religion is also up for debate, creating nicely textured food for thought. Performances are excellent, but it’s Carice van Houten who steals the show as the spooky and mysterious leader of the heretic cult.

It’s rare enough to find a horror movie with brains in this day and age, and Black Death never patronizes. It challenges. Well worth multiple viewings, this one will make you think.

Honorable Mentions:

Paranormal Activity 3 - It’s no secret that I’m not a huge fan of this franchise. The original film, an undeniably shining example of this genre, never resonated with me while the sequel is among the laziest, most uninspired examples of by-the-numbers filmmaking. But this? Against all odds, directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman have delivered the ultimate haunted house thrill-ride. A delicious concoction of wonderfully spooky setpieces, each one building steadily toward one of the scariest finishes in recent memory, this is how to make a sequel!

Hobo With a Shotgun - If this were more of a horror film, it would’ve landed in my top five (same reason why Rise of the Planet of the Apes didn’t even qualify as a runner-up … no horror to speak of). Director Jason Eisener is one of the precious few filmmakers who understands what worked about the films that inspired his own, and therefore, this exploitation homage works perfectly: It’s played straight. It’s unflinching and nasty but lined with real heart and soul. Rutger Hauer is pitch-perfect as the drifter who stumbles into town and quickly gets pushed too far, and there’s a real style to the mayhem. It’s a perfect weekend movie; watch it with a few friends (and a few beers), and it’s bound to please everyone around.

Stake Land - In a world decimated by vampires, how hard would it be to survive? What would make someone go on living? Stake Land's outlook is bleak as it tracks a small band of survivors on their trek to reach ‘New Eden’ – a place where civilization has allegedly been restored. Jim Mickle’s film never gets bogged down in needless exposition, and it works to thrust viewers headfirst into a savage world where anyone can succumb at any time. Survival isn’t easy, and Mickle has no mercy on his players. The end result is a vampire film as uncompromising as any. And one of the best in recent memory.

Human Centipede II: Full Sequence - Tom Six’s hilarious meta response to his own Human Centipede: First Sequence is a dark comedy that outright lambasts critics of the original film as well as its ardent admirers. A grotesque parody of the ”movies can create psychos” argument, there’s no end to the perversity on display here. Laurence R. Harvey turns in a fantastic (and mute) performance as Martin, the disturbed individual who can’t seem to get the original movie out of his head – so much so that he decides to recreate it (with twelve people). It gets sicker as it goes but also funnier, too. Hurry up and give us The Final Sequence, Tom. I can’t image what you’ve got in store for us next, but I’m sure I’m going to love it.

5.Hellraiser: Revelations - Yes, it’s awful. And I loved it in a weird way. But that doesn’t excuse Dimension for churning out such a worthless pile of drivel. Clocking in at 69 minutes (sans credits), Revelations isn’t the nadir of the series, but it’s so hopelessly executed that one can’t help but feel ripped off by this cash-in. Sure, it’s hilarious (soupy incest, Pinhead as a genie in a bottle, surviving a point-blank shotgun blast to the chest and so on…), but the original Hellraiser was one of the most innovative genre experiences of the 1980s. This is as far away from that concept as you can get.

Meanwhile, Clive Barker continues to tell original and enthralling Hellraiser stories via Boom! Comics. Seek them out. Forget about this.

4.Red State - An incomprehensible mess of a movie – a narrative that has no idea what its final message even is. Kevin Smith’s foray into the genre is a menagerie of Hostel-ish horror and siege thrills with none of it working out all that well. There’s a moment just before the long-winded (and worthless) final speech where it seems like Red State is about to veer into unexpected territory and have a payoff. Instead it’s a cop-out (hardy har har); a prelude to a joke which doesn’t even remotely jibe with the utter bloodbath we just witnessed. This isn’t bold. Credit Smith for trying something new. I’ll chide him for failing miserably.

3.The Howling Reborn - It would’ve been nice had writer/director Joe Nimziki tried to make an actual horror movie out of this, the eighth installment in the long-running franchise. Instead, it’s Twilight-inspired hokum that can’t even really do angst-y romance convincingly. Yes, the werewolves are cool when they finally rear their heads. By then we’ve slogged through 80 minutes of nonsense, and the lycanthropy carnage we do get is far too little, too late. Hell, at least Twilight has an island off the coast of Brazil. That’s more than this insipid wannabe werewolf flick has.

2.The Resident - It’s a psychological thriller without any bite. Hilary Swank menaced by Jeffrey Dean Morgan in a flick that barely musters TV movie thrills. Instead, Swank sulks around her apartment half naked, oblivious that Papa Winchester is leering at her while she sleeps. If any of this sounds creepy, you’re either an eleven-year-old girl, or you haven’t watched enough 90s thrillers. Take one Never Talk to Strangers and one Sliver, and call me in the morning.

PS – you can swap out my number two choice for The Roommate. Should you do that, skip Sliver and watch Single White Female instead. Either way, they made these things better back then.

And to think The Resident bears the Hammer name. Thank God for Wake Wood.

1.Apollo 18 - I shouldn’t have. But I just watched this. Everything my esteemed colleague The Foywonder said is true.

Scarcely have I been as bored as while watching Apollo 18, a movie so astoundingly terrible that I almost wish I’d seen it in theaters. Because someday it’s going to be hard to believe they played this junk in multiplexes across the country. A leaden pace, unlikable characters and laughable creatures, this is just … nothing. Even when things happen, nothing happens. An atrocious experience through and through, it’s the polar opposite of Paranormal Activity 3, the twisted rollercoaster ride of found footage flicks while Apollo 18 is that line you stand in if only to see what the fuss is about. And once you find out, you can’t help but think how badly you’ve wasted your time.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Fright Night - Even if we pretend this isn’t a remake of Tom Holland’s 1985 classic, Fright Night sucks. Marti Noxon’s shocking inept screenplay consists of clunky “tell, don’t show” moments and more amazing coincidences than I care to count.

Add to this the fact that director Craig Gillespie can’t stage an exciting or scary moment to save his life (all the big action comes off flat and laughable), and you’ve got a recipe for pure shit. Colin Farrell’s Jerry can be menacing, but his performance is only that. There’s no nuance, no personality and no point. But he can yank a gas line out of the ground like nobody’s business.

People may like David Tennant because he was great on "Doctor Who", but his ‘Peter Vincent’ is little more than a poor man’s Jack Sparrow: glib, unlikable and complete with one of the worst character arcs I’ve ever seen in film. This isn’t a top five candidate because it’s watchable in some regard I suppose. It’s also seriously stupid and poorly executed all-around.

Rubber - What a pretentious slice of utter garbage. This homage to no reason doesn’t offer a single solitary reason to slog through these 80 minutes. Forced irreverence has never been this tired or obnoxious.

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Nomad's Picks

2011 was a sad year for mainstream, big screen horror. As I run over lists of what was released, I see a lot has come from other countries, and others crept into minimal release from the indieverse. That being said, if you weren’t keeping track of what was lighting up the film fest circuit, you would have missed a lot of it. I hang my head and count myself as one of those people. For this reason I only have 4 “Best ofs” as I’m not about to reward a sub-par film by defaulting into an open spot.

Chillerama - Prepare for 4 tales of terror that double as love letters to Lloyd Kaufman and his Troma super-shlock legacy as well as the over-the-top drive-in cult classics that came before him. You’ve got "Wadzilla", a tale of a sad little sperm that grows up to terrorize a city with the help of modern science in a 50’s setting. "I Was a Teenage Wearbear" is a coming-of-age musical that’s a little John Waters… a little Lost Boys. It’s like Cry Baby with gay dudes! Big, hairy, sweaty gay dudes…with fangs. We’ve got "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein", a hysterical “what if?” putting Hitler in the shoes of Doctor Frankenstein to create a Jewish engine of destruction. Finally, we have "Zom-B-Movie", the wrap-around-tale of horny zombies bent on literally fucking your brains out. What’s not to love?! I laughed through 90% of this movie. I can’t think of a better film to play for a room full of friends who brought plenty of alcohol…and I’ve done so three times since the Blu-ray showed up. This is a damn good time!

Troll Hunter - Follow a group of young filmmakers into the woods with a genuine troll hunter tasked with keeping a lid on the exploits of those extra large creatures when they wander into human territory. He’s the cleaner...and his job is not a pretty one. The special effects are top notch, making the coming of each monster a palpable experience. There is also a good deal of humor in the writing, creating my favorite brand of monster film. If they made a modern Godzilla film like this, fans would keel over from overwhelming joy.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - It’s an idea so simple, it is baffling no one has done this before. Two working class men travel out to the boonies to spend some quality time in their broken down vacation home. At the same time a group of over-privileged teenagers have hit the woods for camping, drinking and a little heavy petting. When our working class heroes are suspected of being stereotypical backwoods horror hillbillies, it's game on! Limbs fly, blood sprays and no one seems to have any idea what the hell is going on. Tucker and Dale is so much fun you’ll be in shock no one grabbed you to see it sooner.

Rabies - Israeli horror, you say?! These people have clearly done their homework. This tale of crossed paths, dire circumstance, violent clashes and a place in the middle of nowhere that doesn’t seem to want to let anyone go is a textbook lesson in building suspense and telling multiple stories in a non-confusing manor while keeping the audience engaged the whole time. This one was my most pleasant surprise of the year. This isn’t just an excellent foreign film. This is what most films should aspire to be.

Insidious - The story of a young family struggling to keep it together while demonic forces plot to tear them apart unraveled for me rather quickly. I couldn’t connect with the central characters, and every time they introduced someone or something new to either scare or engage the audience, it just made things funnier. The crowd I saw this with was laughing more often than not and mostly in disbelief. The horror gags fell flat and failed to creep. A big disappointment for me.

Priest - Oh man. Where do we begin with a mess like this? What happens when you try to make a super-charged action film in an apocalyptic future with hand-to-hand battle, gunfights, monsters and explosions around every corner? A headache usually. The story is disjointed and makes little sense. The characters lack essential likability or, in the case of the lead villain, enough baddassery to make you hate. Vapid is a good word to use here. Vapid and empty…and lacking in even enough of a spectacle to act as mindless eye candy. Just a waste of time.

Shark Night 3D - How this made it to big screens will be a mystery debated for some time to come. It sounds like a Syfy Channel original movie, doesn’t it? Well, sometimes a duck is a duck is a duck. Like most Syfy monster fests, the characters run about at the drop of a hat amid circumstances that have little logic behind them while the title monsters themselves get little screen time. Each scene is a vehicle for a kill, and not even 3D can make you care in the slightest for the intended victim. Halfway through you’ll ask to stop, sure that you’ll never have a desire to return. This is a waste of Hollywood energy and dollars.

The Roommate - A neutered Single White Female remake for fans of "The OC"? YAY! Ever watch a movie that made you want to harm yourself in public so that someone would come and drag you from your seat, simultaneously saving you from further torture and providing an excellent excuse as to why you fled the scene with all due haste? You’ll pray for such kindness. This tween friendly “thriller” lacks suspense, an engaging story, likable characters, an ounce of horror or even a slightly rockin’ soundtrack to ease your pain. There is NOTHING here worthy of conversation.

Apollo 18 - What horrors were left behind on the moon? Oh man…you don’t want to know…and if I could get you to trust me on that fact, we’d all be a happier race of fleshbots. Unfortunately, there are people out there who seemed to think Apollo 18’s ridiculous mystery is worthy of praise and so you may be talked into watching this tedious sort of Paranormal Activity in space rip-off. Even alluding to notes of Paranormal is getting your expectations too high… and lying. This is sci-fi dreck with a story so dim it’s no wonder the film sat on a shelf for as long as it did. If this movie had a face, you’d want to punch it.

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

The Woman in Black's Picks

In 2011 I was fortunate enough to see a lot more good films than bad so while the second half (the Bottom 5) of my list of the best/worst movies of the year was a piece of cake to compile, it was much more of a struggle to come up with the first half (the Top 5). In addition, I've been accused in the past of including too many "fringe" films (i.e., not pure horror) so this time I'm leaving off a trio of my favorites since they could easily be categorized as more sci-fi than horror, but you can find them as the first three listed among my honorable mentions.

Topping my Best of 2011 compilation is Absentia, which I saw very early in the year but still managed to stay in the forefront of my mind as the months wore on. It's a perfect example of a filmmaker doing a lot with very little. That is, if you consider an intelligent script, completely natural actors, and a director (Mike Flanagan) who gets that we don't need absolutely everything explained in minute detail to be "very little". For me it was enough for Absentia to be my No. 1 film of the year. It's accompanied by the following (in no particular order):

Stake Land - As a fan of vampire films, I was ecstatic to see director Jim Mickle and his co-writer Nick Damici (who also stars as the mysterious vampire slayer simply named “Mister”) put some bite back into the sub-genre. This isn't the first offering from Glass Eye Pix to land on one of my year-end lists (see 2009's I Sell the Dead), and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Attack the Block - Without even seeing my fellow Dread-heads' lists, I'm pretty sure this film will land on more than a few of them so I won't bother going into a lot of detail about why I selected it other than to quote Drew's five-knife SXSW review from back in March: "A fantasy-adventure that hearkens back to Eighties monster movies…Attack the Block transcends the genre it's referencing, becoming a truly fresh and exhilarating marvel rather than just an homage to what came before."

Sint (aka Saint) - A pair of holiday-themed horror flicks came out in 2011: Rare Exports, which garnered the lion's share of attention, and my favorite of the two, Sint from the Netherlands, which flew in a bit more under the radar. I'm not usually a huge fan of slashers, but this one is so fresh and unique that it totally won me over. The Black Petes alone are worth the price of admission. If you're looking for a new Christmastime classic, this is it as far as I'm concerned.

A Lonely Place to Die - You want intense? How about nail-bitingly suspenseful? This movie is all that and more. It's actually the first film I've watched in years that I had to pause in the middle to go outside and get some air. Melissa George really shines in A Lonely Place to Die, and as Gareth wrote in his review, the on-screen violence is "harsh, impactful, and shocking…a thoroughly gripping, expertly crafted, and visually sumptuous mix of white-knuckle tension and adrenaline-pumping action." One of the biggest surprises of the year.

Honorable Mentions: Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Contagion, Super 8, Paranormal Activity 3, The Road, Insidious, The Caller

Memorable Performances: Since I always have to bend the rules a little when it comes to these best/worst lists, I wanted to be sure to include a couple of shout-outs to those actors and actresses who gave the most memorable performances of the year, even if the projects in which they appear aren't listed elsewhere.

In movies we had Gretchen Lodge from Lovely Molly, who thrilled me like no one else in 2011 with her raw, brave portrayal of the title character as she terrifyingly descends into madness. Or is there more to it? Seek out this film and find out for yourselves! There's also Brian Austin Green from ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2, who chilled me to the bone as ChromeSkull's facilitator turned nemesis Preston. We already knew from "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" how much BAG has matured from his "90210" days, but ChromeSkull really sealed the deal.

On TV we had Mos Def, the one shining light in what turned out to be an uneven (yes, I'm being kind) season of "Dexter" - they never should have killed him off! But the one performer who stands heads and shoulders above them all is Jessica Lange as saucy Southern belle Constance in "American Horror Story". The accolades have been pouring in for her all year, and I must once again add mine. Jessica, start writing your SAG, Golden Globe, Emmy, etc., acceptance speeches! Note to the powers-that-be at FX: Do whatever you can to keep her on the show for at least one more season please.

Now we turn to the Bottom 5. In all honesty, a few of these films were such stinkers that as soon as I finished watching them, I promptly did my best to forget they existed so my comments regarding each will be minimal.

The worst of the worst has to be Creature. I really hate to add to the disdain my cohorts here at Dread Central have been piling on this flick, but there's simply no other option but to do so. Fred M. Andrews, your heart was obviously in the right place, but it takes a lot more than heart to make a good film. Try to include some of those other ingredients the next time.

Kill Katie Malone - If listing Dean Cain as the "star" of your film when he's in it for probably a total of five minutes is the best you can do to market it, then maybe you should find another line of work. On top of that, Kill Katie Malone was dull, silly, and mostly senseless. Steer clear.

Red Riding Hood - Oh, what a letdown this one was! With the likes of Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Julie Christie, and Virginia Madsen being directed by Catherine Hardwicke, I had hopes of Red Riding Hood transcending its "teen fantasy movie" tag and delivering a product worthy of its big-name roster. Obviously, since I'm putting the film in this position, my hopes were dashed.

Psych: 9 - Here's another instance of the bad outweighing the good. A decent premise that starts out okay turns muddled and melodramatic with some over-the-top performances that pull out every cliché in the book. As Uncle Creepy said in his review, " It's all been done before and done much better."

Ghost from the Machine - Another film I had high hopes for given its premise (bringing dead loved ones back to life), but it was so sloooooooow and booooooooring. It might have made for an interesting short film, but trying to stretch it out to feature length just didn't work.

Dishonorable Mentions:The Rite, Hellraiser: Revelations, The Howling: Reborn, The Sacred, Super Hybrid

Biggest Disappointment:Sucker Punch might not technically be a horror film, but it got quite a bit of coverage here on the site by virtue of being directed by genre darling Zack Snyder and including several of our favorite actors/actresses. I'm not one to get offended by anything, but man, is Sucker Punch offensive in just about every way. I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt, but as it wore on … and on … and on, I could feel my anger rising … and rising … and rising. The people I was watching it with wanted to leave, but oh no, not me! I had to stay for every single sordid moment of this abomination. Was this really Snyder's "vision"? If so, I felt duped and dismayed. Certainly everyone is entitled to a misstep or two along the way in their careers, but it's going to take some time for him to work his way back into this Woman's good graces.

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Uncle Creepy's Picks

2011 was an odd year for movies, but not because there were many head-scratchers out there. The simple truth is this past year saw more good flicks than bad, and that in and of itself is quite the achievement. Still, several flicks rose above the crowd as both winners and stinkers, and I'm ready to give my take on the state of cinema for ya, right here right now, along with a few honorable and dishonorable mentions sprinkled in for flavor. In no particular order …

Super 8 - For me this flick was nothing short of pure magic and spectacle. It's a true love letter to everyone who grew up loving monsters and monster movies. Yes, it had that sickeningly sweet Spielbergian ending, but for my money the movie is just impossible not to love.

The Road - Though the film hasn't come out officially yet here in the States, this shriek-fest from director Yam Laranas ranks up there with not only some of the best films of this year, but quite possibly of the last several as well. It's beautifully shot and frightfully scary and intelligent; you guys need to do whatever you can to see this flick ASAP!

Stake Land - Who says vampires lack bite? Never mind the sparkling drama queens who rake in the dough at the box office, this is what the vampire sub-genre should be revered for. Thanks to over-exposure to legions of teenage girls and cougars alike, vampire projects have been universally defanged. If you need a reminder of just how terrifying these beasts can be, look no further.

Attack the Block - Every time the hyperbole wheels starts rolling for a foreign film that we've yet to see here Stateside, it becomes easy to be disappointed. Attack the Block is one of the few films I've ever seen that not only lives up to the hype, but it completely transcends it. It's really too bad that Sony didn't trust this one enough to give it a proper release. If you haven't seen this one yet or have been on the fence, go ahead. Blind buy it. You'll be thanking me right after your first of many viewings.

Troll Hunter - I know, I know. A third foreign flick on my best of list. What can I say? What's good is good, and Troll Hunter is simply great. In a sea of failed cinema verite movies, this flick gets everything right. There are moments in which you just won't believe your eyes. You'll be sitting there, mouth agape, in a state of awe. If that alone is not enough to be included here, then I don't know what is.

Honorable Mentions:
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, Insidious, Paranormal Activity 3, Final Destination 5, Rise of the Planet of the Apes

The Rite - Any movie featuring the great Sir Anthony Hopkins playing a priest who is possessed by demonic forces should be a no brainer of a home run; yet, the makers of this atrocity still managed to find a way to make the film's events fall flatter than the sunny state of Florida. Horrid demon CGI, hammy performances, and the completely unusual usage of frogs for dramatic effect were enough to make The Rite the first film of 2011 to scrape the very bottom of the barrel.

The Roommate / The Resident - It's true we're only supposed to list five movies here, but damnit, even if you combine the similarities of these two shitfests (awful acting, no suspense, ridiculous events leading nowhere), they still don't amount to at least one halfway decent movie. If you're a true glutton for punishment, I wholeheartedly recommend setting up a double feature here. Just don't forget to sign your suicide note. You will be missed.

Rubber - Though critically acclaimed by nearly everyone and their grandmother, I fuckin' hated this movie. It's not high art, and it's nowhere near as smart as it likes to think it is. A story featuring a sentient tire with the uncanny ability to make people's heads explode should have been no less than a rip roaring good time. The filmmakers, however, had other plans. Instead of the mayhem-laden hilarity that should have permeated the screen, the fourth wall is broken to bits and a pretentious experiment in arthouse filmmaking rolls on a seemingly endless path to boredom. What anyone sees in this flick is completely beyond me.

Red Riding Hood - Holy shit. The word "rancid" comes to mind along with "putrid". When you have big name actors up on the screen delivering performances worthy of a school play, you know there's a problem. Here's your classic example of a flick that cares far more about how pretty it is than it does about delivering anything that even remotely resembles substance. Shallow, empty, and stupid, not even the biggest of metallic elephant torture devices could make this shell of a movie even slightly interesting.

Creature - For my money this could be one of the worst damned movies of all time. Here's the thing … you have a cool looking practical swamp monster out in the wild killing people. You have actors known to deliver quality performances. The only thing you have to do is roll the camera and let the mayhem begin. Not here. No way. There's no fun to be had, no events that take place which even remotely make sense, and little to no interaction between the guy in a friggin' suit and the actors of the movie. This is the biggest fuck up of a simple formula I think I've ever seen. It's astounding in its relentless pursuit of being as awful as possible and not in a good way. It's simply wretched.

Dishonorable Mentions:
Fright Night 2011, Zombie Diaries 2, Hellraiser: Revelations, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, The Howling Reborn

[Andrew Kasch]

[Doctor Gash]

[The Foywonder]

[Heather "The Horror Chick" Wixson]

[Gareth Jones]

[MattFini]

[Nomad]

[The Woman in Black]

[Uncle Creepy]

Welcome to the first Top 10 list of 2012! In celebration of the off-kilter weirdness that is the upcoming release of the anthology film The Theater Bizarre, we bring you a list of other movies that stand out from the crowd. We at Dread Central proudly give you, in chronological order, 10 of the most groundbreaking horror films of all time. Enjoy...

It's difficult to name just 10 groundbreaking horror films because so many of them have led the way for things to follow. There are plenty of films in the genre that trailblazed: Very early entries like The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari set the tone for things to come. Early slashers like Black Christmas and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre certainly inspired legions of filmmakers. The first entries of powerhouse franchises could be considered groundbreakers as well by introducing new icons... Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Saw all paved the way for incredibly lucrative franchises. And some films opened the doors to new sub-genres like Alien for mainstream sci-fi/horror and Hostel for the unfortunately nicknamed "torture porn" sub-genre.

You could argue a spot for any of those films on the Top 10 Groundbreaking Films list, but this is what we came up with. Please feel free to comment below, or give us your own Top 10 Groundbreaking Horror Films.

Nosferatu (1922)
Directed by FW Murnau

When he couldn't secure the rights to use the name Dracula, FW Murnau simply renamed everything from Bram Stoker's book and created this historic film. He named the movie Nosferatu and then was brilliant enough to find Max Schreck to play Count Orlock (Dracula) in a role that would influence vampire films for decades. Nosferatu took the first step for the vampire sub-genre which would run from Bela Lugosi to Robert Pattinson. From Christopher Lee to Alexander Skarsgaard. Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, even Eddie Murphy all portrayed vampires that can trace the inspiration for their performance back to Murnau, Schreck and Nosferatu. It's difficult, if not impossible, to turn on a television and not be able to find some kind of program or film which doesn't contain a vampire, and it all started right here.

Frankenstein (1931)
Directed by James Whale

Although Frankenstein certainly deserves a spot on this list, this film is also a representative selection as you could include so many of the classic movie monsters here. King Kong, Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Phantom of the Opera and the Mummy were all iconic characters that led the way in horror. Frankenstein, however, stuck out as the most memorable of this remarkable group. Also adapted from a classic piece of literature, Frankenstein was, of course, based on Mary Shelley's book. The film contained grave-robbing, torture of the monster and the murder of a child. Pretty heavy stuff for the early '30s. It's funny to think that so many of today's cartoonish Halloween decorations were actually inspired by this beast constructed from the rotting pieces of other corpses. An iconic figure that may be the most recognized monster of all time, Frankenstein is a true original piece of artwork that is a rightfully part of the United States National Film Registry.

Freaks (1932)
Directed by Tod Browning

Any time you can grab a video of a guy with no arms and no legs rolling and lighting his own cigarette, it's advisable that you do it. It almost sounds like a setup for a joke... What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who smokes? Hack. (*rim shot*) In all seriousness, Browning's film, which is also in the US Film Registry, was legendary for bypassing all the inconveniences of having to create circus freaks using F/X and just went out and hired actual circus performers. Kind of like the original reality TV. Having worked at a sideshow in his youth, Browning was familiar with the atmosphere and the composition of the performers and put that into his work. He obviously held the circus freaks in high regard as in his film he portrayed them as heroes and "normal" people as the antagonists. Freaks is unforgettable for its absolutely remarkable cast, the likes of which has never been assembled again. A truly unique film that opened doors and pushed the limits of what was "acceptable" to show on film. Gabba, gabba, hey!

Psycho (1960)
Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Directed by a true master filmmaker and promoter, Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho was not only an amazing piece of filmmaking, but it was marketed brilliantly. Hitchcock kept everything about Psycho under tight wraps to be sure the film's secret stayed a secret. Reviewers were not even allowed early screenings for fear the shocking ending would be leaked. And this was before file sharing and SOPA! The shower scene was like nothing audiences had seen before. (Also, viewers had never had the opportunity to see a toilet on the big screen either, but Psycho fixed that as well!) Often credited as the first slasher film and said to inspire later films to use more gore, Psycho (also on the US National Film Registry) was acted, directed and sold to the public in brilliant fashion. An inspiration for horror creators on the same level that Black Sabbath is an inspiration to metal bands, everything goes back to this.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Directed by George A. Romero

This landmark film did nothing less than define the modern zombie as we know it today. Even though the beasts in the film were referred to as ghouls, the shuffling, shambling undead invading that Pennsylvania farmhouse were the direct ancestors of all the zombies we have today. Think about the massive amounts of entertainment revolving around the modern zombie - television series, comics, web series, feature films and shorts - and that's not even counting all the zombie-themed events we participate in socially, like zombie walks and zombie pub crawls. These all look back and trace their roots to the one and only Night of the Living Dead. This is another one that is enshrined in the US National Film Registry. It simply influenced a massive amount of entertainment. Thanks to Romero and his creative vision and determination, zombies went from slaves of voodoo witch doctors to the flesh-craving nightmares we know and love today.

The Last House on the Left (1972)
Directed by Wes Craven

This was a tough one. This spot was a complete toss-up between The Last House on the Left and I Spit on Your Grave. Both of these films featured incredibly intense violence and brutal rape scenes. I Spit on Your Grave seems to possess a bit more of a recognizable name amongst casual fans, but finally The Last House on the Left made the list because it was released five years earlier and was the film in which Wes Craven introduced himself to the horror universe. Although the tension is cut with a bit of humor, The Last House on the Left is an assault on the viewer. The sadistic torture of the victims brings a heaviness to the film that is only slightly alleviated when the family eventually gets revenge on the killers. Last House is another film that opened doors for violence and F/X at the cinema. They set the bar so high in cruelty that it would be very difficult to top, but they inspired many to try.

The Exorcist (1973)
Directed by William Friedkin

It seems like every exorcism film that comes to theaters earns big money. And why is that? Why did The Last Exorcism and The Exorcism of Emily Rose and The Devil Inside all earn millions at the box office? The answer is simple... The Exorcist. These other films made huge amounts of money for one reason: All the viewers were hoping for another film like William Friedkin's masterpiece. We go to see exorcism movies because we know they can be really scary. We've seen it done before and keep hoping someone can do it again. Unfortunately, no one has ever even approached the power and unadulterated ability to cripple viewers with fright as The Exorcist. Even after nearly 40 years, many feel it's the scariest film of all time. Will any film ever achieve the combination of sheer brilliant filmmaking with unbridled terror as The Exorcist did? It's a lofty goal to strive for. It was the highest grossing film of all-time for one year... that is, until our next film swam into the picture.

Jaws (1975)
Directed by Steven Spielberg

When Jaws was released in 1975, several things happened. The world was put on notice that Steven Spielberg might be a name to keep an eye on in the future as the film would go on to be the highest grossing movie of all time (and hold the title for two years until Star Wars wrestled it away). But how Jaws became such a huge earner is what's important. Responding to positive early screenings, filmmakers launched an all-out blanket campaign for the film with a larger than initially planned number of theaters releasing Jaws, as well as a massive marketing campaign to go with it. Behind the strength of this, Jaws basically became the first film which could be considered a "summer blockbuster", reshaping the way studios looked at distribution. And aside from that Jaws scared the shit out of people, and not just in the ocean; people were (hell, are) uneasy about swimming in pools after seeing the classic film. Jaws was a rare treat that took an innate fear, toyed with it and turned it into a nightmare. A look at any new release video shelf will undoubted offer the sight of plenty of films that followed in the steps of the "animal attack" sub-genre of horror, each of them certainly inspired in some way by the grandfather of them all, Jaws.

Halloween (1978)
Directed by John Carpenter

If Psycho could be considered the first slasher film, Halloween has to be thought of as the film that molded the sub-genre into what we know it as today. Where Normal Bates killed for a very specific reason, Michael Myers needed none. Yes, Black Christmas came earlier, but Halloween gave us a name and a character to haunt us. Carpenter used our fears of unknowingly being watched and wove them expertly into the film. And then he unleashed Michael Myers on the unsuspecting people of Haddonfield. As the film rolls on, we become terrified and enthralled by the character (as you should with any great villain). Carpenter helped set the rules of horror with this film and even showed future directors how to set up for a killer sequel. The films inspired by Halloween, one of the most successful indie films of all time, are countless. This film drew up the slasher blueprint which would be adapted and adjusted to fit so many movies which came afterward. Fans of the sub-genre know exactly where to look when talking of the original.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Directed by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez

Fans of horror may be looking at this list and saying, "Okay, Nosferatu. Good one. Psycho. Yeah, I agree with that one... Wait. What! The Blair Witch Project?! How does that get on this list?" Here's how: The Blair Witch Project was a groundbreaking film in a number of ways, the first being its first-person/found footage style. The technique was used in Cannibal Holocaust, but obviously Blair Witch was the film that inspired the current craze. The thought is, of course, that if you feel you're watching actual footage of an event or incident, it's that much more chilling than a produced movie. Whatever your personal opinion on that style may be, we can't discount the fact that The Blair Witch Project had a huge hand in the popularity it now possesses. But even more important than the way The Blair Witch Project was shot was the way it was marketed. Virally. Blair Witch became a huge success because a lot of the audience wasn't actually sure if they were watching a production or actual found footage because of what they had read on the Internet. Additionally "The Curse of the Blair Witch," a companion piece to the film, aired on the Sci-Fi Channel on July 11, three weeks before the film was released, creating even more uncertainty amongst viewers as to whether what they were watching was production or actual found footage. The Blair Witch Project's filming style and marketing approach ushered in two huge changes to the horror genre, and cinema as a whole, indeed making it a truly groundbreaking work.

I'm sure you guys have some titles that I may have overlooked. Share them and drop some knowledge on us in the comments section!

And be sure to check out The Theatre Bizarre (review here), which John Anderson of Variety says is “devious, demented and occasionally delicious.” Exclusive engagements start Friday, January 27th, at midnight.

Love is in the air! That's right, gorehounds; it's that time of year again. Valentine's Day is here, and we've got a special treat just for you. There has certainly been no shortage of terrifying couples, obsessions and forbidden loves in fright films over the years. Today we bring you our Top 10 Greatest Horrific Couples.

We're not talking about the hero who battles the monster and saves the helpless girl at the end. That's not going to make this list. We're talking about the couples that were somehow uniquely intertwined within a film. Of course first we have our honorable mentions.

We'd have loved to include Leatherface and Stretch from Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 here, but they weren't really a couple as Stretch was just using her womanly wiles to try to escape in one piece. Also, you can't really have a list like this without mentioning Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from The Twilight Saga, just for the sheer volume of loot the films have brought in. We decided, however, to pass on them. Too sappy, even for this list. Vlad and Elisabetha from Francis Ford Coppola's film Bram Stoker's Dracula was another near miss for a love affair that spanned generations. Oh, there's also Adam Green and Joe Lynch, but that one just involves too much body hair.

So without further ado, here, in chronological order, are our Top 10 Greatest Horrific Couples.

King Kong (1933)
King Kong and Ann Darrow

"Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes...it was Beauty killed the Beast." Isn't that so often the case, fellas? You bend over backwards for your girl, battle monsters on Skull Island, climb the Empire State Building to protect her, and what do you get? That's right, shot down by fighter pilots. I've seen it a million times. But this is a story of true love. Yes, there is the unfortunate bestiality angle that needs to be considered, but Kong truly loved his girl. So what can we learn from this story? Firstly, if you discover a place called Skull Island, best to just stay the hell away from it. But if you must go, don't bring back any souvenirs, especially the hulking over-sized gorilla kind. Because when giant apes get attached to someone, they tend to be a bit overzealous with them. Just a word to the wise.

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
The Frankenstein Monster and The Bride

All he ever wanted was to be loved. That's all. We could have saved the time and effort of a lot of torch-wielding angry mobs if we could have just found someone to love the Frankenstein monster. Even The Bride that was created just for him was a little put off by the guy. And that was it. That was the last straw. When another monster created from reassembled and reanimated body parts thought he was too freakish to bear, the Frankenstein monster (always with love in his heart) sent Henry and Elizabeth away and took down the tower with himself, his bride and the diabolical Dr. Pretorius inside. A true case of the dangers of unrequited love.

"The Munsters" and "The Addams Family" (1964)
Herman and Lily Munster/Gomez and Morticia Addams

When we talk about famous horrific couples, you have to consider Herman and Lily of "The Munsters" and Gomez and Morticia of "The Addams Family." Both legendary series hit the airwaves in 1964 and ran for just two seasons each. However, unlike the attempts to reanimate "The Munsters" (which never really took off), Gomez, Morticia, Uncle Fester and the rest of The Addams Family had a pair of successful films in the 90's starring Angelica Huston, Raul Julia and a young Christina Ricci as the memorable Wednesday. Although they were comedic characters, let's be honest; Lily and Herman, as well as Morticia and Gomez, have to be considered among the most memorable and beloved monstrous couples ever.

Fatal Attraction (1987)
Dan Gallagher and Alexandra "Alex" Forrest

Fatal Attraction did for infidelity what Jaws did for swimming in the ocean. Suddenly it did not seem like such a great idea anymore. Glenn Close may never have been more powerful and memorable than in her role of Alex Forrest. She single-handedly scared every man in America into monogamy for at least the summer of 1987. The bunny boiling scene alone was enough to have men returning their zippers to the upright and locked position for awhile. Although not a traditional couple, Dan Gallagher and Alex Forrest are forever locked in their cinematic tryst as his infidelity would undoubtedly haunt his family forever, regardless of the outcome for Alex. The relationship between Dan and Alex was a familiar one, but the result of the fling was anything but. No matter how brief, this was a relationship for the ages that was burned into our memories for life.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Jack Skellington and Sally

There may not be another couple in horror cuter than Jack and Sally. The pair appear to be made for each other (not literally... unless maybe Dr. Finlestein had something up his sleeve). Sally's undying love for Jack is apparent from her very first scene in the film. And although Jack is a little busy big-timing everyone, he eventually realizes what a treasure Sally is. Their budding friendship/romance is priceless and shines in the culmination of the film, making Jack feel less miserable and taking some of the sting out of getting shot down by missiles. A good woman can do that for you.

Natural Born Killers (1994)
Mickey and Mallory Knox

My personal favorite on this list, Mickey and Mallory Knox are absolutely batshit crazy. Played brilliantly by Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis in Oliver Stone's film (written by Quentin Tarantino), M & M were an intelligent illustration of just how the media creates celebrity from psychosis. As insane as their initial killing spree was, the film gets even better as the couple become separated, only to pine for each other and work their way back into baby's arms. They may be the scariest couple on this list because they are the couple with the most potential to become reality.

Bride of Chucky (1998)
Chucky and Tiff

When Charles Lee Ray transformed his spirit into the body of the Good Guy Doll which became the infamous Chucky, I'm quite sure he never thought he'd be pulling down tail as hot as Tiffany. Played, memorably by the lovely Jennifer Tilly, Tiff came along midway through the Child's Play series and breathed much needed life and a completely new angle into a film franchise that had previously been a one-trick pony. Chucky and Tiff were great together. What could be more unnerving than seeing not one, but two giant-headed, three-foot tall, scalpel-wielding puppets show up at your door with bad intentions? Tiff would actually go on and become the dominant character in the series (as a good woman can do) and even brought little Glen/Glenda into the picture.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Sweeney Todd (Benjamin Barker) and Mrs. Lovett

The story of Sweeney Todd dates all the way back to the penny dreadful story The String of Pearls (1846-47), and the couple was originally portrayed by Tod Slaughter (fitting name) and Stella Rho in the 1936 film adaptation. And Angela Lansubry won a Tony Award for her portrayal of Mrs. Lovett in the original 1979 Broadway version of the story. For today we're going to use the modern telling of the tale featuring Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in Tim Burton's re-imagining of the story. This couple is perfect because they work so well together. Todd has a maniacal, homicidal rage that keeps turning up dead bodies in his quest to kill Judge Turpin, and with a shortage of good meat, Mrs. Lovett needs something to put in her infamous meat pies... a match made in heaven! Unfortunately it would be a short lived relationship but a memorable one for sure.

"True Blood" (2008)
Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse

For those of you irate over the exemption of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from this list, here's the adult version of the duo. The way I see it, "True Blood" is nothing more than Twilight for grown-ups. As readers of Charlaine Harris'The Sookie Stackhouse Novels know, things don't always work out for the best for Sookie and Bill, but viewers of "True Blood," especially the early seasons, can't argue the red-hot chemistry this pair has on screen. It seems when Bill is around, the once awkward Sookie has immense trouble simply keeping her clothes on. Delivering one steamy scene after another, this on-screen couple (Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer) got wise and decided to tie the knot for real in a ceremony in 2010. If their home life is anything like we see in "True Blood," I'm guess not a lot gets done around that house aside from a whole lot of "testing the springs in the coffin," if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

Let the Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in) (2008)
Eli and Oskar

Perhaps on this entire list, no couple needed each other more than Eli and Oskar, each for their own personal reason, but a young love did blossom out of this situation. Both of them required protection from the outside world, a protection that the other was able to provide. This was an amazing tale that featured the duo's budding young love set in the frigid backdrop of Sweden. The outlook for the union is shaky, at best, as Eli's vampiric requirements will certainly run Oskar to exhaustion, as it apparently has to men in the past, but the origin of the relationship (which is what we are treated to in this film) is touching. Even knowing the cost, we humans just can't leave those vampires alone.

Kisses all around! Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

Top Ten List brought to you by Silent House in theatres March 9th, 2012.

In the world of Friday the 13th, “Death and Sex” replaces the old “Death and Taxes” adage with endless reliability. Jason’s always on the prowl for more victims, and what better way for him to pad his numbers than by catching folks not only amidst the throes of passion but also in their euphoric comedowns?

In honor of this week's Friday the 13th, presented here for your, uh, pleasure are the 13 horniest kills in Friday the 13th history. That is to say, the top kills built around sexual machinations in one way or another. So please slide on a rubber, stay safe and give this a read!

13. Here’s one for the both of you! (Friday the 13th Part 2)

This fan favorite was obviously going to wind up on this list. By now everyone knows this infamous dispatch of two ‘counselors in training’ was curbed from Mario Bava’s Twitch of the Death Nerve, but it doesn’t make the moment any less iconic.

Never mind that Jeff looks to be too stoned to even thrust (Or is this post-coital afterglow? The debate rages!), this double murder is a culmination of the skills acquired throughout Jason’s earliest career: stealth, strength and tenacity all combine to make this murder one for the record books.

12. I hate your face! (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)

After nailing Sara in the shower, Doug (Peter Barton) goes solo, serenading his sexual conquest with a really bland singing voice and an even poorer choice of song. It seemed to irk an already overly-vicious Jason, too, for the way he decides to take Doug down is remarkably primitive and nasty – one of the many feats that distinguish The Final Chapter as the most mean-spirited Friday the 13th of them all.

This moment isn’t so much a ‘stalk and slash’ bit as much as it is Jason going on the attack: Smashing through the shower glass and grabbing a fistful of Doug’s face; there’s something really nasty about the masked slasher’s decision to simultaneously crush his skull and tear his face off.

11. No love for the classics… (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)

One of my favorite kills in the whole series is the surprisingly effective combination of butcher knife and stag film. After striking out with everyone but a stuffed animal, Teddy (Lawrence Monoson) resigns to an evening of smoking grass and watching 8 mm porn.
This innocuous decision turns out to be his downfall as Jason uses the projector to his advantage, distracting and blinding the poor sod before burying half a blade deep in his skull. One of the earliest adopters of modern laptop technology deserved a far better fate than this.

10. Oh, you’re pregnant? (Friday the 13th Part 3)

The death of Debbie (Tracie Savage) is one of Friday the 13th Part 3’s more suspenseful moments as we’re never quite sure when she’s going to buy it. The theatrical poster seemed to indicate a nasty shower knifing, but that turned out to be a bit of misdirection as the requisite post-sex shower instead brings a hefty amount of tension to Debbie’s impending doom.

When she finally retreats back to her beloved hammock, she’s sent packing via a pretty nasty knifing, but I will never understand how she failed to notice the hulking behemoth mongoloid hiding below her. It also pains my heart to see a vintage issue of Fango splattered with fake blood, but such is life.

9. I’m crushing your head! (Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood)

After a healthy bout of van sex, Ben (Craig Thomas) is sent unknowingly to his death to investigate a strange noise. As it stands, Jason lies in wait and isn’t content to get this guy out of the way quickly.

If you’ve seen the “uncut” version of this death then you know it’s a spectacularly over-the-top piece of carnage in which Jason literally compacts this poor guy’s skull in what is easily among the most prolonged and unabashedly brutal moments in the entire series. The scene is capped off quite nicely with the added death of Ben’s girlfriend, Kate (Diane Almedia), who wonders what the ruckus is and takes a party horn to the eye for her troubles.

8. Get down here! (Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood)

One of the most effective deaths in The New Blood is the drowning of Sandra (Heidi Kozak). True, this kill has nothing to do with sex, per se, but Jason sure gets a gynecological eyeful as he drags the ill-fated skinny-dipper down to the depths of Crystal Lake. And there’s still an air of horniness here, as Sandra has designs on luring red-blooded Russell (perhaps the worst actor to ever grace a Friday the 13th movie, Larry Cox) into the water for a little moonlight dip. As such, his non-reaction to seeing Jason in the flesh is completely priceless. He’s axed in the face just before Jason decides to take his place beside Sandra in the calm waters of Crystal Lake.

7. Keep it up until the end of the song… (Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives)

Even though I was quite young the first time I saw Jason Lives, I realized at a very early age that my life wouldn’t truly be complete until I’d had sex to the song ‘Animal’ by Felony.

Personal fetishes aside, I’m not sure what universe Nikki (Darcy DeMoss) and Court (Tom Fridley) are in where ‘Animal’ runs north of ten minutes (my iPod version clocks in around 3:30), but holding out until the end of the song wasn’t within the realm of possibility for Court. The lovebirds are interrupted when Jason kills the power to the rockin’ camper (prompting Court to, ahem, pop), naturally taking a moment to investigate the disturbance afterwards. They play right into the hands of a diabolic Jason who pulls Nikki into the RV’s bathroom while Court understandably cranks and jams to Alice Cooper.

This whole sequence is wonderfully playful: from Jason’s initial puzzlement over the scene to the way writer/director Tom McLoughlin stages the suspense. Nikki’s impression into the RV wall is a real crowd-pleaser, as is Jason’s slow advance toward an unsuspecting Court. The hunting knife through the skull is just the icing on this slow burn of a horny cake.

6. Mirror, mirror. (Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)

The death of Tamara (Sharlene Martin) continues the tradition previously established by the The New Blood of getting the audience to root for the death of a merciless bitch of a character. In Part VII it was Melissa, but it’s all about Tamara this time around:

It isn’t enough that this high schooler blows coke, shamelessly manipulates those around her and conspires to lure her teacher into a sex scandal as a means of getting a good grade, but she’s also the mastermind behind the event that finds our heroine spilling overboard.

Classy.

It’s unsurprising, then, that Jason makes a beeline for this mini femme fatale rather early on in the proceedings. As such, she winds up trapped in the bathroom of her cabin, where her robe is torn free and a male stunt double hilariously smashes head-first into the mirror, creating a handful of weapons for our ready and willing killer. Thrown headfirst into her vanity, Tamara’s end is something of a poetic one.

5. Spear gun to the balls. (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)

Speaking of poetic: the smarmiest, most unlikeable douche in Friday 4 meets his end in the most appropriate way imaginable. In a move that can only be described as incomprehensible, Paul (Alan Hayes) jilts the absolutely stunning Samantha (Judie Aronson) in favor of slow dancing with one of the twin sisters he’d met hours earlier.

Of course, Paul has an 11th hour crisis of conscience and heads out to find poor Samantha, who has already been stabbed to death and left to rot in a raft in the middle of Crystal Lake. Paul finds her, freaks out and frantically heads back to shore where Jason is waiting…
The spear gun kill is unquestionably brutal, but needed in this case. Swift and brutal justice dealt to the guilty head … one doesn’t smite Judie Aronson and get away with it.

4. Exactly how long was she under there? (Friday the 13th)

The death of Jack (Kevin Bacon) in the original Friday the 13th is mainly remembered for the Tom Savini special effect, but repeat viewings reveal the scene to be a lot creepier for a long longer. Considering the way in which the scene plays out, Mrs. Voorhees must’ve been under that bed for a long time, waiting and planning.

Of course, she’s lucky that Jack and Marcy weren’t a kinkier couple. What if they’d decided to have sex on the floor or worse, the top bunk (where Ned’s corpse was stashed, lest anyone forget)?

Luckily it played out as expected, meaning Mrs. Voorhees probably had to put up with the bouncing mattress bottom brushing against her face. No wonder she couldn’t wait to take Jack out of the equation.

3. There go your peepers. (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

Not sure what pseudo-Jason had against eyes, but it seems like he was destroying them every chance he got (poor Gramps). Consider the scene where Tina (Debisue Voorhees) and Eddie (John Robert Dixon) sneak off for a little roll in the woods…

Basking in a post sexual glow, Tina’s eyes are carved out when everyone’s favorite disgruntled ambulance driver takes a pair of hedge clippers to them. Eddie returns to discover her body and finds his head locked against a tree with a leather belt strap. His skull is crushed as the belt constricts around his eyes, leaving him to die a very uncomfortable death.

The gleeful sadism of Friday 5 is in full force in this scene (especially with the homeless voyeur hilariously dispatched in between our two big deaths) – and it’s just one of the many reasons I adore every frame of it.

2. Homo-erotic … shaving? (Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday)

What is this I don’t even …

Admittedly, this particular moment might be better suited for one of the other Friday the 13th features I’m planning this week, but it’s so bizarre and overtly sexual that I’m compelled to post it here.

I will never understand why Josh (Andrew Bloch) is nude or why Jason gives him a clean shave before taking possession of his body. In fact, I don’t understand a damn thing about this scene. Does it tell us more than we want to know about Jason? That he’s a metrosexual at heart? Why the shave, otherwise? But, again, why is Josh naked?

Jason stripped him, bound him, shaved him, possessed him and then dressed back up in his clothes? Is there something sexual about this scene? Absolutely. It’s intended to keep the audience off-balance, although it does so at the expense of our beloved summer camp slasher, who has never behaved this strangely before or since.

1. Tent split! (Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday)

It’s odd that Jason Goes to Hell’s most memorable bit was only added to the film after the producers felt like it needed a few more “classic” kills.

Deborah (Michelle Clunie) rides Luke (Michael Silver) halfway to o-town before Jason plunges a rail spike into her back, splitting her in half. Blood splats all over an understandably upset Luke in what is an admittedly amazing special effects sequence by the maestros at K.N.B (remember, you have to see the unrated cut).

With the exception of the prolonged sex scene in the 2009 Friday the 13th, this is easily the most graphic moment in the series as far as sexuality goes. Having Jason so brutally intrude feels like the ultimate snarky commentary on “safe sex” – especially considering the condom discussion at the beginning of the scene.

Now, if someone could explain why the hell Luke refers to himself as ”Tony the Wonder Llama”, I’d be satisfied.

As much as I love it, the Friday the 13th series isn’t exactly bound by strong continuity. Jason’s look fluctuates like the weather, people flock to Camp Crystal Lake in droves, seemingly unaware that it never turns out well for those involved, and WHY does the camp look like it’s in a different state for every film (don’t answer that)?

That’s not to even begin trying to piece together a strict sense of passing time throughout the Paramount-era films. Ever try? Dating everything out, the best you can do is place Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood in the year 1999 or 2000 – which is amazingly problematic to say the least considering Kevin Blair runs around in denim the entire movie.

Along the way there have been many WTF moments. Characters disappear, others reappear. People stumble in out of nowhere just to be killed and then forgotten about. Having different creative teams behind each production often results in hilarious lapses in logic that cannot easily be explained while some stylistic choices are just plain bizarre. There’s obviously no way for a “top ten” (or top 13, as it were) to cover them all, but this list references both some obvious choices and some genuine oddities that never seem to come up in conversation. Their common ground? All of them, in their own special way, make the viewer say, ”What the fuck?”

13. Jason’s overnight growth spurt between 2 & 3.

Yep, we’re starting with an easy one. One that I couldn’t not include on this list because it’s just such a puzzling choice. In the span of one night, Mr. Voorhees springs up several inches, sheds his ginger locks and decides to kick his backwoods-y wardrobe for something a bit more … insidious?

So yeah, from this:

To this:

How? Why? Doesn’t matter. One assumes director Steve Miner wanted a bigger, more imposing presence for his second sequel, but hey, at least they cared enough to keep him in his overalls for the flashback attack on Chris later in the movie (more on that later).

12. Yeah, I’m afraid of water now… (Freddy vs. Jason)

There’s a lot wrong with Freddy vs. Jason, but the biggest WTF moment comes when it’s revealed that Jason is deathly afraid of water. Never mind all the movies we’ve seen where he willingly traipses into Crystal Lake in order to get a drop on his victims, FvJ stages an 11th hour retcon in a desperate attempt to make the character more “sympathetic.”

But Jason didn’t have these issues while seemingly waiting for a late-night skinny dipper in The Final Chapter, nor did he mind wading into fiery waters for a final confrontation with his nemesis Tommy Jarvis in Jason Lives. He spent a decade chained to a rock at the bottom of the lake and that didn’t seem to bother him either! Then he seemingly swam into whatever harbor the kids in Jason Takes Manhattan sailed out of. Maybe Mr. Voorhees started to get a bit timid in his old, undead age? It had to be something other than ”the filmmakers simply didn’t give a shit”, right?

11. Zombie Dad (Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood)

Apparently Jason wasn’t the only corpse rotting beneath Crystal Lake. John Shepard, the raging alcoholic who goes to his watery grave in the prologue, apparently was left there to rot after the collapsed dock was cleared away and then rebuit for the “present day” part of the film.

It does seem a bit unlikely that his corpse wasn’t simply tangled up in the wooden debris, though. And how deep is Crystal Lake where the body couldn’t have been recovered (this is true for Jason, too). Did the police even fucking LOOK? Knowing their success rate in the area, it’s probably safe to assume they did not (more on them later).

Of course, this doesn’t excuse how lame Shepard looks when he comes flying out of the water just in time to drag Jason back down into the raging shallows of Crystal Lake. I know director John Carl Buechler fought for a cooler-looking Shep zombie, but the idea was nixed by one of the producers.

Well, producer, I hope you’re happy that this is the impression your film leaves with us:

10. Odd radio announcer (Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)

I love Jason Takes Manhattan. Every second of it. And nothing sets this film in motion better than the incredibly baffling radio announcer at the beginning of the film.

Unfortunately, there is no YouTube video of it so I had to reproduce the incredibly awkward narration in text:

“It's like this... We live in claustrophobia, the land of steel & concrete. Trapped by dark waters. There is no escape. Nor do we want it. We've come to thrive on it and each other. You can't get the adrenaline pumpin' without the terror, good people... I love this town.”

What the hell is he talking about?

It gets even stranger when the movie transitions back to Crystal Lake, with our opening victims listening to him be all creepy / cryptic on the radio:

“This request has gone out to Crystal Lake, and the senior class of Lakeview High. They’ll be graduating on the 13th of this month. And we wish them the best of luck and success when they come to visit our seductive city. Our lure is a great one, young friends, but beware…the city of lights casts many shadows indeed.”

Why in the hell is this guy so ominous!? And why does a NYC DJ care that some rural New Jersey kids are taking a class trip into the city? It’s all in the first few minutes, but it sets up the rest of Jason Takes Manhattan oh so perfectly.

Having said that, it’s cool to note that Crystal Lake has a Lakeview High, right?.

9. That awkward time they changed Crystal Lake’s name… (Friday the 13th part VI: Jason Lives)

This isn’t so much a slight on Jason Lives as much as it is the rest of the films that followed. It’s somewhat understandable that a town marred by endless murder would seek to change their reputation. So Crystal Lake became Forest Green. But why in God’s name did the township decide, sometime after Friday 6, that it was time to change it back?

Surely it must not be cost-effective to go back to Crystal Lake, right? I mean you have to redesign the logos on all of the municipal vehicles again, for starters. It means slugging through a lot of bureaucracy to get it done, and for what gain? Wouldn’t it be better for the town of Forest Green to heal? To gradually forget that they birthed one of the most enduring mass murderers in history? Or did Crystal Lake become an all too lucrative tourist location? Chances are all future filmmakers just hoped we’d forget about this little detail.

8. ”He’s killing me!” (Friday the 13th – The Final Chapter)

Here’s an odd and polarizing moment in the franchise. Rob Dyer, vengeance-seeking Jason hunter, ventures into the basement of a neighboring house only to be attacked by the masked madman. Instead of fighting back, he resigns to his fate, screaming repeatedly, ”he’s killing me!”

And odd moment, to be sure, and one that seems to divide its audience in half. Some find it unintentionally hilarious while others find it deeply chilling. Supposedly, the moment was culled from a real-life news story in which a 911 call recorded a murder victim screaming out ”Please stop killing me!” The moment stuck with director Joseph Zito so much that he included it here.

It is the very last kill in the following video:

7. Mrs. Voorhees … You found your head! (Friday the 13th part III)

The end of Friday the 13th part III mirrors the finish of the original Friday. As such, the filmmakers saw fit to mimic the “Jason jump” that lifted audiences from their seats in the summer of 1980. But there was one problem: Jason was “dead” in the barn. Which meant the final jump scare needed to fall to the other murderous member of the Voorhees clan:

It’s a nice try, perhaps made a bit more baffling than it needs to be, considering Pamela suddenly has her head attached to her neck. And what in the holy hell is she doing at the bottom of the lake? One assumes her body (minus the head) was recovered at the end of the original film. Furthermore, the next film in the series reveals that she’s buried randomly on the side of some country road. Either way, she’s decidedly not rotting at the bottom of the Crystal Lake. WTF?

6. Vinnie & Pete, really? (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

This is something that seems stranger to me the older I get and the more I think about it. Two greasers, who look like they stumbled off the set of William Friedkin’s Cruising, breakdown on a desolate country road in Crystal Lake while en route to rendezvous with some ladies. At least that’s what the movie tells us.

But where are they going dressed like that? Why does Pete think it’s a good idea to shit in the woods before meeting up for a date? And what’s Roy Burns doing out there with a road flare at the ready? There’s plenty of moments in Friday 5 where people appear and are killed instantly, but everything about this scene just seems odd … and that’s exactly why I love it.

5. What in God’s name happened to these people? (Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)

Nearly 20 minutes into Jason Takes Manhattan, the ill-fated cruise ship, Lazarus, departs for New York City, revealing several shots of non-principal cast members lounging around and enjoying the luxuries of this ocean liner.

The problem? They’re never seen again. This means we can only assume a considerable amount of passengers aboard the Lazarus stayed in their cabins and refused to come out, even once the ship began taking on water. That they drowned, rather than escape. Every time our survivors abandon ship, I can’t help but think back to these earlier scenes and wonder why we never saw dozens of extras hopping overboard.

Of course, it also cements Jason’s status as the ultimate slasher. How many others could torpedo a friggin’ cruise ship? Badass.

4. It’s almost like you guys aren’t really trying … (All movies)

With the exception of Jason Lives, which saw pro-active and (largely) intelligent police, the rest of Crystal Lake’s finest seem to enforce the law with the least amount of effort possible.

From their refusal to ever check in on the kids in Friday 3 (despite there having been an unsolved killing spree a few miles away) and then again in Friday 4 (where now there have been two bloodbaths, and a missing killer) – their ineptitude is staggering. Perhaps none moreso than in Friday 5 where Sheriff Tucker suspects Jason Voorhees is behind the murders, but isn’t seen again until the post-climax epilogue.

How many lives could’ve been saved if he’d actually done enough detective work to actually connect Joey to Roy? I guess we’ll never find out.

3. The rape theory… (Friday the 13th part III)

One of the most interesting discussions to come out of the entire series is the rape theory around Friday 3. When Chris tells of her earlier encounter with Jason, she admits to blacking out while being dragged into the woods by the soon-to-be slasher. She doesn’t remember anything more.

So what happened? Was Jason somehow scared away by a search party? Did the “frightened retard” have his way with an early victim before deciding that he liked murder better? Why wouldn’t Chris’ parents talk about what happened? What are they hiding?

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this theory, but I appreciate that it exists. It gives Jason an extra dimension of creepiness and certainly makes for interesting conversation.

2. Who took that picture!? (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

In the ultimate example of someone just wasn’t thinking when they thought it would be a good idea, we have a semi-recent picture of Jason taken up close and personal. But how? WHY? Of the lucky few people to have survived one of Jason’s killing sprees, I don’t ever seem to recall someone taking his damn picture.

Maybe (and this is a HUGE maybe), you can rationalize this as somehow being security camera footage from the hospital but, considering the angle this picture is at, that doesn’t really work.

So what we have here is a massive head scratcher. A moment where the filmmakers (I love you, Danny Steinmann) tried to pull a fast one and hoped no one would notice. The end result? One of my favorite WTF moments in the entire franchise.

1. Toxic waste flood! (Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)

I know. This isn’t all that creative. I can remember begging my father to take me to see Jason Takes Manhattan in the theater when I was ten years old. He dragged his feet for a week or two and when he finally acquiesced it was too late. The damn thing was out of the theaters and I was completely crushed (he got his, however, when he had to later take me to Jason Goes to Hell instead).

Especially when I had to hear about it from a bunch of eighth graders who’d been able to sneak in on opening weekend. When I told my father that I heard it ended with Jason drowning in a flood of toxic waste in the NYC sewer system, he responded with, ”that sounds like a bunch of bullshit.”

And he was right.

But, c’mon, there’s an inimitable charm to that kind of ending. Something a modern film wouldn’t have the cajones to attempt for fear of crashing the Internet. If someone tweeted today that an upcoming horror sequel ended with the killer bested by a flood of toxic sludge that rockets through the sewers every night at midnight…well it wouldn’t be pretty…

It’s dumb, nonsensical (why in the hell is the city worker down there just prior to the flood? Is he a thrill-seeker?), and amazing all in one. And there’s no way it couldn’t take the number one spot on this list.

When Annie first strolls into “Present Day” Crystal Lake at the start of Friday the 13th it seems like a picturesque and idyllic little town, doesn’t it? Yes, some terrible things happened there, but it genuinely feels like a nice place to live, with a strong sense of community to boot.

But once you start watching the sequels, it becomes clear that there’s a real seedy underbelly to the place (and the immediate surrounding parts of Wessex County, too).

Political and medical malfeasance, disorderly conduct, rampant drug abuse and generally odd behavior are just some of the characteristics intrinsic of these citizens.

13. Crazy Ralph (Friday the 13th parts 1 & 2)

As before, we’ll start with an easy one. We all love Crazy Ralph. His presence is always one to make me smile, especially when he pops out of the food pantry halfway through the original Friday the 13th. How long was he waiting for someone to open that door?

But have you ever considered what happened to Ralph to make him flip his lid and start spouting vague doomsday gospel? Sure, he’s the town drunk, but what exactly does he know about Crystal Lake that makes him so certain that everyone who goes there is doomed? A drowning in 1957, two subsequent murders, some fires and “bad” water spread across 20+ years doesn’t seem like enough tragedy to shock a man into drunken insanity. Although perhaps it was enough to shatter the façade of safe country living, thereby shaking Ralph to his core.

12. Dr. Crews (Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood)

It’s never clear exactly where “Bad News” Crews is from, so for the purposes of this article let’s say he practices medicine somewhere in Wessex County – thereby making him eligible for this list.

Seriously, what a terrible man this is. Not only is he opportunistic and unscrupulous – exploiting is telekinetic patient while prohibiting her actual recovery, but he barely tries escaping Jason before sacrificing Amanda Shepard in his wake. And then he makes no real effort to get out of the woods, choosing instead to stick around until someone happens by. Bad plan, doc.

11. Billy (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

It’s one thing to dislike your job, but to conduct yourself irresponsibly while doing it is something else entirely. Billy, the pride of the Unger Institute of Mental Health, really has no patience for working with the mentally unstable and he probably should’ve chosen another profession.

This negligence is highlighted almost immediately in A New Beginning when Billy is glimpsed ogling pornography while riding shotgun during a patient transport. It’s probably not the best idea to expose someone with severe mental trauma to this kind of material (especially because part 5 Tommy looks primed explode in a burst of rage at all times), but Billy doesn’t appear to give a shit. He’s even hostile and impatient when Tommy shows reluctance in exiting the van! Real nice guy.

Oh yeah, he also has a hefty coke habit. Needless to say, when pseudo-Jason puts this guy out of his misery, it’s probably for the best. The Unger Institute of Mental Health probably would agree.

10. Martin the Caretaker (Friday the 13th part VI: Jason Lives)

Here’s another guy who just isn’t very good at his job. Martin thinks he’s “earned” the illustrious gig of presiding over the Eternal Peace Cemetery, and he seems to have built a career out of resting on those laurels.

He’s so stuck in his ways that he won’t even acknowledge the fact he might’ve made a mistake and buried Allen Hawes instead of Jason. Hell, he’s not very perceptive, either, considering the body dropped in the coffin was wearing considerably newer clothes than Jason’s old garb. On top of that, he’s a drunkard with a penchant for breaking the fourth wall.

Big time Friday geeks know that Martin was taking money directly from Jason’s father, Elias, to maintain the masked one’s gravesite. The subplot was dropped from the script before filming (but carried into Simon Hawke’s novelization), although the knowledge definitely makes Martin’s job performance all the more unsatisfactory: he was being paid to give special care to Jason’s grave, and he couldn’t be bothered to do that right. You, sir, are a farthead.

9. Ethyl & Junior (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

Crystal Lake is still in New Jersey, right? I only ask because these country bumpkins seem far better suited for a story of southern-fried clichés than the northbound locale of Friday the 13th. That’s not to infer white trash can’t exist in New Jersey (there’s an MTV show that consistently proves me wrong), but these two just seem … displaced?

Still, I’m damn glad they’re here. From Ethyl’s “terrorist” threat, foul mouth and dubious cooking skills, to Junior’s one-track mind (”He hurt me, ma!”) and awesome leather aviation cap, they’re unforgettable characters AND terrible people. Junior has nothing better to do than to ride around at night and accost people suffering from mental illnesses, while Ethyl hock loogies into her own soup and berates homeless people for being ”fuckin’ ugly.”

Their existence begs the ultimate question: how come Jason didn’t take care of them sooner?

8. Abel (Friday the 13th part III)

Ralph was the crazy town drunk, but there’s something seriously wrong with this guy. Abel takes his duties as resident “harbinger of doom” seriously, setting up bunk in the middle of the road so those headed to Crystal Lake have no choice but to stop and hear him out. At least, that’s the most logical reason I can think of. It’s entirely possible (and likely) that he’s just batshit insane and therefore doesn’t know any better than to risk being steamrolled by oncoming traffic.

It’s likely the latter, considering he has a human eyeball on his person, insisting he’d found “other parts of the body” but was told to take THAT. I’m not even clear on whose eyeball this is supposed to be. A victim from part 2? Some unfortunate off-camera fodder? I guess we’ll never know for sure.

A bigger question might be how come we never heard from Abel again? Did Jason finally put him out of his misery, or was he really just passing through? And what’s with all the prophetic doublespeak? Couldn’t he have just said to the kids, ”Hey, don’t go to the lake, I found some dead bodies up there.”

Surely Abel could’ve prevented Chris’ friends from being slaughtered that weekend if he’d been straight with them. Or gone to the police. Whatever happened to him, I hope he can live with those deaths. They're on him.

7. Victor Faden (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

I didn’t have to hear Vic speak to know he was off his fucking rocker, but I’m not a psychiatrist so I have to assume that Pinehurst’s administrator, Matt Leonard, knew something I didn’t. But seriously, look at this guy:

The hilarious thing about A New Beginning is that it’s set at a halfway house, meaning these people are preparing to re-enter functioning society. But Victor Faden can’t even have a simple conversation about his day without brandishing an axe and thinking murderous thoughts. And it doesn’t take much more than that for him to actually use that axe – first on a candy bar and then on the poor schlep who tried to give it to him.

Vic was a violent psychopath, but I wonder what happened to him after Sheriff Tucker carted him away from Pinehurst. And wouldn’t it have been interesting to watch him take on pseudo-Jason toe-to-toe? It’s odd that Friday 5’s most irredeemable character is one of the few to survive. Just another reason I adore this wacky flick.

6. Mayor Cobb (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

One look at this guy and it becomes clear why Crystal Lake is constantly dogged by lackluster law enforcement. Mayor Cobb doesn’t seem all that concerned for the well being of his township so much as he wants to preserve its safe reputation. But he also isn’t all that interested in complicated or challenging matters – like the truth.

When Sheriff Tucker suggests that Jason Voorhees may, in fact, be behind these killings (hey, he was close enough), Mayor Cobb dismissively tells him he’s been out in the sun too long. He then proceeds to empty Tucker’s ashtray as a way of implying that Jason is toast, barking at him instead to deliver a ”liveeeee” suspect.

In fairness, Cobb could’ve been having an off day when we see him in A New Beginning, but there’s enough malaise spread across the faces of the officers in the room to suggest they’ve seen this kind of behavior before, and often.

5. Hippie Hitchhiker (Friday the 13th – The Final Chapter)

At this point it’s fair to wonder exactly what kind of Hellmouth sits beneath Crystal Lake. It draws weirdos to the spot like vampires to Sunnydale, and this lady ranks among the strangest. Where is this hippie going? Upstate Vermont, I guess? And what’s with the “Fuck You!” on the back of her sign? Maybe she just got sick of all the smart ass responses out there in the country and decided to get defensive.

Yeah, it’s probably unfair to label her a Crystal Lake “resident”, but I’ll forever be fascinated by this hippie hitchhiker’s presence in The Final Chapter. What makes it even better is Jason’s savage grunting when he buries the blade in her skull: it sounds a little more disdainful than usual, like he’s telling her to take her hippie shit the hell out of his woods. That’s how I read it, at least.

4. Axel (Friday the 13th – The Final Chapter)

Axel is a genuine sleazebag. He’s the type of guy who’ll put his sandwich down on a fresh corpse just to sign a release form. A guy who leers at overly-eroticized workout videos while seducing a horny nurse – with the still-warm body of Jason Voorhees lies spread out on a slab behind him. This is a guy who openly jokes about violating the corpse of a butchered young girl without so much as a grin.

This morgue attendant would be reprehensible if he weren’t so hilarious, but that doesn’t make his unprofessionalism less excusable. It could be his openly dismissive reaction to the Crystal Lake killings that pisses Jason off so much in the first place. I mean, Jason was never more vicious than in The Final Chapter and who can blame him? No one likes being treated this flippantly. Thanks for nothing, Axel.

3. Deckhand (Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)

This guy’s questionable behavior is staggering. Not only does he see a bloody, abandoned boat come drifting to shore but he refuses to tell anyone about it. Did the captain see it? What if the boat had floated in front of the bow? It might’ve caused an accident when the Lazarus departed. And like all the other messengers of doom in Friday the 13th, he’s also insufferably hazy. Instead of expressing genuine concern before the ship embarks on its voyage, he makes a cryptic comment to a high school kid and then looks surprised when he’s paid no mind. Hey asshole, why don’t you tell someone that some people might be hurt or in trouble?

I assume a deckhand’s job is to ensure the safety of those on the deck? This guy knows enough to be spooked but doesn’t convey his message very well, putting many people in mortal danger. And when people do finally catch on he’s too stupid to even clarify what he’s talking about. Instead he inadvertently injures the chaperone and runs off, creating the perfect opportunity to be blamed for all of the death and misfortune aboard the ship. Despite his intentions the only thing the deckhand accomplished was making a bad situation much, much worse and needlessly confusing.

2.Duke (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

I love this guy. While the residents of Pinehurst are shocked and appalled to see the mutilated corpse of their housemate, Duke (aka Unsympathetic Ambulance Driver) scoffs, blows a bubble and declares them a ”bunch of pussies”. And if that wasn’t enough he turns to his co-worker (who’s transitioning from mild-mannered paramedic to full blown pseudo-Jason at this point, mind you) with a laugh and encourages him to get his hands dirty – with the blood of his estranged son. Nice job, asshole.

Chances are Roy Burns was going to snap anyway, but Duke’s appalling lack of empathy couldn’t have helped. True, nobody knew that Joey was Roy’s son, but that doesn’t make Duke’s attitude any better. This guy needed sensitivity training but instead indirectly spurred the highest body count in Crystal Lake history (at that time).

1. Raymond (Friday the 13th – A New Beginning)

Apparently there’s vagrancy in Crystal Lake. This guy, who hasn’t eaten in two days, spends his time wandering onto people’s property looking to trade work for food. He’s proves to be rather untrustworthy, though, as he’s tasked with cleaning the shit out of Ethyl’s chicken coop and instead goes off to spy on promiscuous teenagers.

Yes, Raymond was intended to be one of many red herrings throughout A New Beginning, but the movie can’t even be bothered to keep him around long enough to arouse suspicion. Instead he’s introduced and then dispatched as an aside a few short scenes later. I’m lead to believe he was just another oddball drifter who just happened to be passing through Crystal Lake during one of its frequent mass murdering sprees, but I’m not sure the series has ever quite produced anyone else as random as this.

With the upcoming release of the creepy Hammer film The Woman in Black on DVD May 22nd, we thought it would be a good time to look back at some of our favorite frightening women from horror films of the past. Believe me; these aren't your average scream queens. These women bite back...hard!

To prime the proverbial pump, we have some honorable mentions for those who just missed the list. Who wasn't creeped out by Cécile De France in Haute Tension (High Tension) or Isabelle Fuhrman in Orphan. I remember looking through my fingers at the woman-thing at the end of [REC], and Rebecca De Mornay was simply cold-blooded in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Rie Ino'o gave us an iconic image in Ring, which Daveigh Chase duplicated in the American remake. And Lina Leandersson was eerie as Ellie in Lat den ratte komma in (Let the Right One In). Hell, if the films they were in were scarier, we'd love to have put Bellatrix Lestrange and The Wicked Witch of the West on here. They were some nasty ladies as well! And isn't that just the way we like 'em? Nasty! Read on, for we've got them all here, in no particular order - the Top Ten Most Frightening Women in Film.

Lola Stone (Robin McLeavy in The Loved Ones)
You've heard us talk about this film, rave about it even. And if you haven't gotten out to see The Loved Ones yet, you're doing yourself a disservice as a horror fan. This movie is the real deal and Robin McLeavy as Lola Stone is killer! Actually maybe torturer/killer is a more accurate description, but you get the idea. This is a true case of whatever Lola wants, Lola gets (why can't I write that without dreaming about Sofia Vergara in that Pepsi commercial?) because when Lola doesn't get what she wants, bad things happen...real bad. It's not easy to include a character so new that many of you guys haven't even heard of her yet, but trust us; when you finally meet Lola Stone, you'll see what we're talking about.

Zelda Goldman (Andrew Hubatsek in Pet Sematary)
Even though she was played by a fella, there is absolutely no way this list goes together without the nightmare that was the spinal meningitis-stricken Zelda from the brutal memories of Rachel Creed in Pet Sematary. She only had about a minute or so of screen time, but it was enough to find her a spot in the dark recesses of our minds for a lifetime. The writhing on the bed in her death throes was bad enough, but when she returned as Rachel's hallucination, rushed the camera and broke into a maniacal laugh while repeatedly screaming "Never get out of bed again!" at the top of her lungs, it was a little more than we could handle. Zelda broke us.

She (Charlotte Gainsbourg in Antichrist)
The unnamed She from Lars von Trier's arthouse film Antichrist crumbled into insanity following the death of her son when she failed to follow one simple rule of parenting…If you're going to be doing the horizontal mambo with Willem Dafoe constantly, make sure you lock all the second-story windows, or Junior might just take a tumble. Well, take a tumble he did, and so does her grip on sanity. As her psychologist husband attempts to repair her shattered psyche, She becomes increasingly deranged and performs some of the most twistedly violent acts on He, and herself, as the film rolls on to its memorable, gritty finale. She has to be one of the more sympathetic characters on this list because of how she was rendered insane, but it's hard to feel too bad for her when she's smashing He's balls with a big block of wood. Ouch.

Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates in Misery)
Flipping your car over in a snowstorm…bad. Being rescued from certain death…good. Being rescued from certain death by someone who adores you for your writing…even better! Being rescued from certain death by Annie Wilkes…oh shit. As much of a psycho-lunatic as she was in Misery, Annie Wilkes will forever be remembered for one scene. And just the fact that we don't even have to come out and tell you what that scene is proves it. It's really a shame that Misery doesn't show in theaters anymore because there's nothing like waiting for that sledgehammer to come down and vaporize Jimmy Caan's ankle and watch the entire place suddenly erupt into one mass toe-curling cringe. Priceless. Annie Wilkes was the embodiment of obsession, and that burly, twisted woman was one of the most memorable and unique monsters we ever had the pleasure to peek in on.

La Femme (Béatrice Dalle A l'interieur (Inside))
And speaking of obsession, we've got an extreme example of a lovely French lady who went off the deep end in the ultra-violent film Inside. From the moment La Femme showed up in the film, you knew things were not going to go well. She was like a rabid, crazed dog. And what was her mission, you ask? All she wanted to do was cut a baby out of a pregnant woman and take it for her own. That's right. La Femme has to be best remembered for her limitless brutality and laser-like focus on her goal: getting the baby that she believes is rightfully hers. Moviegoers will be hard pressed to find another woman as violent and remorseless as this memorable character. From the initially attempted cesarean section with the dress shears, throughout the entire film, La Femme definitely earned her spot on this list.

The Woman (Pollyanna McIntosh in The Woman)
Sometimes you'd like to have faith in the intelligence of your fellow man. It's unfortunate that McDonald's has to print COFFEE IS HOT on their coffee cups because you would hope in a society as advanced as our own, even the slowest among us would realize the inherent dangers in that cup of coffee and behave accordingly. Just as you would hope that a successful country lawyer would be slick enough to know that if you do happen to find a feral woman living in the woods, it's probably not a good idea to capture her, bring her home and try to civilize her. In The Woman this is unfortunately not the case. However, if all those mistakes were made, one would pray that once said woman bites off and eats one of your fingers, then the realization of just how terrible this idea is should set in. Again, no. And when you miss that many telltale signs of idiotic behavior, you've got to pay the price, and The Woman is nothing if not good at collecting that debt. An absolutely raw, animalistic character, she is the beast within all of us when the trappings of modern society are removed.

The Grady Twins & Mrs. Massey (the tub woman) (Lisa and Louise Burns & Billie Gibson in The Shining)
If there was one place that cornered the market on frightening women, it was the Overlook Hotel. The nightmarish setting of the classic Stanley Kubrick film housed not one, but three frightening females. Of course the iconic Grady twins make the list as their presence alone was enough to get the skin of the average movie-goer crawling. The pint-sized ghosts managed to amp up the fear factor of The Shining to epic levels. Then add in Mrs. Massey (she of the Room 237 bathtub scenes…her character was not developed in the film, but a reading of the Stephen King novel clears everything up). The off-the-charts scary ghost of a suicide victim is equally off-putting. They make up a triple-threat of terror. Yipes!

May Dove Canady (Angela Bettis in May)
Oh May, how we love you so. Without a doubt, she is the most precious and magnetic character on this list. But even through the cute smile and simple need for companionship, May is just as twisted as anyone else on this list, perhaps taking her mother's advice of "If you can't find a friend, make one" a bit too far. Perfect hands, perfect neck, perfect legs - May finds them all; unfortunately they're on different people. "So many perfect parts but no perfect wholes." Only one way to bring them all together, and she does just that in creating Amy, a Frankenstein-like pile of dead flesh which becomes her friend…at least in May's own broken mind it does. She even adds a little bit of herself to make it perfect. An incredibly sympathetic character, May pulls the viewer into her trauma, then allows us to enjoy her personal triumph. Complicated and batshit crazy, May is a keeper.

Asami Yamazaki (Eihi Shiina in Audition)
Audition proves that you can't judge a book by its cover. Who would have thought that the cute little Asami would end up being a torturing maniac. Never saw that one coming. There's crazy and torturous, and then there's another level of crazy and torturous, and that's right where Asami lives, in the upper crust of psychos. Not only does she remove a foot in perhaps the most painful way possible, but she first drugs her victim to be sure he's paralyzed but wide awake and feeling every ounce of the pain. That's next level. That's Hall of Fame. All she wanted was to be fully loved. Of course, the totality of what she needed, absolutely all of someone, was insane to consider in the first place. Asami, her wire saw and needles, are certainly hard to forget.

Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair in The Exorcist)
Even after nearly 40 years, Regan MacNeil is still the scariest thing ever put to film. The Exorcist is a beautifully deranged film that seared the most horrific creature into our minds forever. The slow burn of the confrontations between Regan and Father Karras and then Karras and Father Merrin together as the film culminates are iconic. But it's not the finale that gets you; it's the build-up of the constant disturbing scenes that make the film so powerful. It's gentle at first - just Regan sitting on the chair with her arm in the air, inappropriately peeing on the floor in the middle of a posh dinner party. But as the film rolls on, the imagery (and incredible sound; the voice of the Pazuzu is by far the most chilling thing about this film) begins to take hold of you. Bringing us lines like the unforgettable, head-spinning "Do you know what she did, your cunting daughter?" or the almost majestically delivered "What an excellent day for an exorcism!" make Regan MacNeil one of, and arguably the most, frightening woman we've ever experienced in horror.

Urban legends carry with them that unmistakable element of fear that we long for in the deepest, darkest parts of our psyche -- you know, the one that goes crazy when we watch a great slasher flick. Part of us wants the horrific yarn to be true -- because wouldn’t that be much more interesting than the truth?

You might be surprised to learn these same types of grotesque tales run rampant in the video game industry. And we’ve got nine of the most unsettling legends out there to prove it.

Gruesome water cooler epics, like the soul of a young boy, trapped in one of his favorite video games, torturing players unlucky enough to obtain the cartridge. Bizarre transmissions from unidentified number stations, broadcasting encrypted messages that seem to predict the future. A mysterious survival horror adventure deletes all traces of itself from the computer on which it was installed. Oo-WEE-oo! These plot threads may sound like key components of a B-movie horror gem, but they were actually culled from the hundreds of video game urban legends floating around in the community.

It’s human nature to be curious. You’re probably all familiar with the “complete impossibly detailed and futile quest to revive Aerith of Final Fantasy VII” schemes or the old “do X to see Lara Croft naked” rumors swirling around since what seems like the dawn of time, but these tales are much more unsettling. Deliciously disturbing. And mostly untrue. But who cares? The greatest, most horrifying tales ever told sprang to life from exquisitely tortured creative minds. And we love ‘em.

BEN
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask

“You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?”

These chilling words belong to an even more teeth-chattering tale. The story of BEN spans YouTube/4chan user Jadusable’s experiences with a very peculiar copy of Nintendo 64 classic The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. Perhaps “peculiar” isn’t strong enough a word -- more like completely screwed up. The haunted cartridge made its way to Jadusable by way of a strange old man (from a yard sale, no less), and went all the way back to a college dorm room for a quick play, upon which it began to reveal some terrifying secrets, the least of which a save file named “BEN.” Despite ignoring the file, Jadusable (later revealed to be named Alex) still found that many NPCs in-game would still refer to him by that very name.

Like any gamer would do, Jadusable decided to create a brand new save file, eventually deleting the old one entirely -- out with the old, creepy apparently glitched-out file, and in with the new, right? This was a no-go as well. After all the trouble the poor bargain hunter went through to start over fresh, none of the NPCs would refer to him by name at all -- in fact, strange distortions in the regular game began to occur. He performed the “4th day glitch,” which allows players one more day to save Termina from imminent disaster (an enormous, terrifying moon is about to crash into the continent), to no avail, instead being transported to the final boss battle with the menacing Majora. Bizarre, reversed music accompanied by garbled text and missing textures were only the tip of the iceberg. He traveled to Clock Town, normally bustling with NPCs. None were available.

Jadusable continued on through the apparently haunted world of the Majora’s Mask cartridge, finding his only solace in a reversed, horrific version of the in-game “Song of Healing,” and the occasional distorted laughter of the Happy Mask Salesman. Transporting to other areas by way of Link’s ocarina did nothing but trigger strange, broken messages. After much experimenting and observation throughout the game, eventually Jadusable found himself under constant surveillance by a chilling statue of what was believed to be “BEN,” and unable to escape the terrifying effigy at every turn.

Eventually, even more cryptic messages made themselves known through normal gameplay. And in the end, even more bizarre happenings began to occur in-game, leading Jadusable to eventually uncover the truth: that the young boy who previously owned the game had actually drowned, which would have explained a sizable chunk of the unsettling occurrences. Jadusable populated his YouTube channel with “evidence” consisting of clips from the game and creepy happenings...leading followers to believe all was true -- until Jadusable revealed the entire thing to be an elaborate story he himself planned while in college.

Hoax or not, it played host to plenty of nightmares surrounding The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask, and launched plenty of copycats. A worthy feat indeed, Jadusable, and a suitably creepy tale!

Pokemon Creepy Black
Game: Pokemon Red (Hacked)

Pokemon may be widely recognized as a relatively innocent affair, but its benign exterior belies quite a few disturbing realities. Take Lavender Town, for example -- nothing about the muted town (or its theme song) is comforting. The tale of Pokemon Creepy Black relies on this fact to weave such a devilishly creepy tale. As the legend goes, a bootleg Pokemon release known as Pokemon Black (before the release of the actual DS entry into the series) made the rounds with some chilling contents. Of course, it was simply a hack of Pokemon Red, but it was convincing enough to merit its own title.

An unnamed player discovered a peculiar Pokemon known only as Ghost in his team of six, right after obtaining the Silph Scope, used for identifying the various Pokemon in Lavender Town’s Pokemon Tower, where the spirits of deceased Pokemon still roam. Typically the Ghosts are later revealed as Gastlys and such, but Ghosts are not obtainable for battle. This Ghost was playable, and could use the ability “Curse.” Rather than simply halving the Ghost’s HP and “cursing” the opponent’s Pokemon with losing ¼ of its max HP each round, it simply KO’ed the opponent’s active fighter and removed it from the benched team. Not only did it relatively erase the Pokemon from existence, but a quick cut to a black screen and a distorted cry of the cursed Pokemon rang out briefly as well. Of course, this was all meant to signify the “death” of the Pokemon.

The player found this new and bizarre version of Curse made it a breeze to plow through the modified version of Pokemon Red, and continued on past the Elite Four’s defeat -- essentially, the end of the game. But after the credits rolled, a disconcerting epilogue was next.

The player, now the sprite of an old man, was studying the very same tombstones of Pokemon Tower. He had no Pokemon, and the overworld was now entirely devoid of NPCs or other sprites Lavender Town’s sinister theme looped over and over as the player wandered back to Pallet Town. The chain of events that occurred afterward were enough to chill anyone to the bone. A sequence of each Pokemon and trainer the player had used the curse on rolled past, eventually culminating in a battle with the very same Ghost the player had aligned with throughout the game, which ended up being a futile affair. Ghost could not be defeated, and the battle eventually came to a head with a sharp cut to another black screen. The player was forced to turn off the game and reset to return to a playable state...only to find the game file had been erased.

Of course, it’s pretty obvious that this didn’t actually occur, but fans and believers have created their very own extensive ROM hacks that attempt to mirror the events from the story. They’re quite accurate, and serve up some delectably creepy alterations to the familiar Pokemon adventure.

Porto and Ghast
Game: Killswitch (Fictional)

The case of the “haunted” video game Killswitch is a widely circulated piece of creepypasta that relies on some very obvious fears to frighten readers: the possibility that a company could actually release a title that deletes all traces of its existence upon completion, for one thing is pretty disconcerting. While not actually feasible, Killswitch’s legend is certainly one for the books -- quite literally, as you’ll find out soon enough.

Supposedly released in the spring of 1989, Killswitch existed as the brainchild of an obscure developer/publisher known as Karvina Corporation. It was to be the grandfather of sorts to later survival horror/adventure classics like Silent Hill or Myst, and possessed some similar elements.

It allowed players the option of completing the game as invisible, fire-breathing demon Ghast or randomly growing and expanding Porto, a human avatar, across an eerie, monochrome world (an abandoned and collapsed coal mine, no less) all the while accompanied by agonizingly simplistic Czech folk tunes. Players were said to gravitate toward playing as Porto, as Ghast’s invisibility rendered him nearly useless as a character, and thus explored her side of the narrative. Porto climbs through the several dank and disgusting levels of the mine, gathering evidence about the mine’s earlier collapse -- as it turns out, Porto had been an employee there before it occurred.

Along her strange, meandering journey out of the mines, Porto uncovers damning evidence of inhumane treatment of miners, many of them old friends and comrades. She’s left to encounter demons and boxy, red-coated inspectors, but there are actually no “true” boss battles -- just the seemingly random growth and shrinkage of Porto. More evidence is uncovered -- shocking and gruesome, especially for this early of a release, and Porto discovers workers having been mangled, caught in the gears of enormous machines.

Though the game seemed to have an obvious focus, aiding Porto in escaping the mine with evidence of the grisly accidents and abuse as well as those involved, the journey is obtuse and difficult to understand. The flow is erratic, and puzzles seem incoherent. Never mind the fact that avatar Ghast is absolutely impossible to play as.

Upon what players took to be completion of Porto’s saga, Killswitch was said to have completely erased itself from existence, keeping players from ever reaching the end through a second playthrough as Ghast or another chance to relive the extraordinary experience. Like a shadow, like a memory -- erased completely.

Of course, this was all intentional on Karvina Corporation’s part, having “made” Killswitch an adventure that could only be experienced once. Very few copies were distributed, and slowly the game faded into obscurity -- but funnily enough, it was never real to begin with. It’s only a creation from the mind of author Catherynne Valente. But its tale is so very chilling and believable it could have certainly lived on for quite some time, flirting with reality, as so many other urban legends do.

Numbers Stations of the Future
Game: Fallout 3

Numbers stations, in simplest terms, are shortwave radio stations that broadcast strange, artificial voices (typically women and children) reading off Morse code, letters, words, and numbers of course. It’s assumed these stations are used to transmit secret messages to spies. Call of Duty: Black Ops was built around that very idea. The idea was taken a little further in Fallout 3, after a series of odd encrypted messages were discovered being broadcast from an in-game radio station -- Galaxy News Radio. Is it true or not? Well, Bethesda denounces all of the rumors as false, but of course they would when the legends tell of encoded messages that seem to predict the future.

After completing several prerequisites (such as destroying certain in-game landmarks) you can access a special numbers station with messages rattled off by a bored Three Dog -- some inane messages like “Washed the car today, maybe Chinese for dinner” and some decidedly more terrifying, like “I can’t believe they’ve actually done it. Not long left. The noise. I can’t take the noise anymore. I have a pistol in the attic,” or “The Queen has died today. The world mourns as on days like this we are all Brits.” Of course, all of this was and still is hearsay, with no actual evidence to support the claims. And with Bethesda’s denial of the instances, that’s the final nail in the Fallout 3 numbers stations coffin -- elaborate hoax or not, it’s still something to make you think.

Polybius
Game: Polybius (Fictional)

What’s more terrifying than a video game that actually makes you go insane? Watching the movie Stay Alive, probably. We kid. But we’re not just talking plain old gamer rage here. More like insomnia, nightmares, and some cases even resulting in suicide. Though the story has been debunked several times over, there’s still that shred of truth that makes one think the arcade cabinet could well have existed at one point, or at the very least a less extreme version of the tale actually did occur, what with the game’s usage of bright, flashing vector graphics -- which could affect those with epileptic tendencies.

As the story goes, a mysterious arcade cabinet appeared in the sleepy suburbs of Portland, Oregon in 1981 known only as Polybius. From several “sources,” it could be best described as closely related to the game Tempest -- a colorful vector shooter. Popular is too soft a descriptor for the phenomenon supposedly induced by the strange game -- apparently it drove players to the point of addiction. Lines would form around the machine as clusters of anxious players awaited a turn. Visits from government agents (men in black, supposedly) would be seen hanging around the machine as well. Soon, players were said to have suffered from nightmares, amnesia, insomnia, and eventually suicide. Supposedly the game contained several subliminal messages within as well, which also has never been brought to light.

There’s no hard evidence surrounding the existence of Polybius, but it’s another eerie legend that seems grounded in the realm of reality -- who knows? You might well unearth one of the supposed cabinets one day. But don’t get your hopes up.

Luigi is Dead
Game: Luigi’s Mansion

Luigi’s Mansion was one of the greats from the GameCube era, and followed Mario’s older brother sucking up ghosts with a vacuum in a haunted mansion. While it was meant to be a little creepy, it certainly wasn’t meant to get as dark as certain forums might have you believe. A story has circulated online for quite some time now that if you head to a very specific room in-game and stand at just the right spot, you can just make out a shadow that closely resembles Luigi, hanging from the ceiling -- like he had hung himself already and you’re only playing the game as Luigi’s ghost.

There’s much speculation as to what the image actually is: a glitch, leftover code, or something much, much darker? We’ll never know.

Max Payne Memorial
Game: Max Payne 2

After losing a member of the development team in 2003, Remedy included a touching memorial to Miika Forsell, found in Part 1, Chapter 7 of Max Payne 2.The eerie room (that can be likened to the Satanic ritualistic levels found in the first game) is home to a shrine with a photo and memorial dates of the fallen team member. It’s quite small and out of the way, and can be found at the side of a building after climbing through an open window. It’s an interesting homage to a beloved member of the development team that actually exists -- though it’s truly a little unsettling to the uninitiated folk who aren’t quite sure about what’s going on in the room without running to Google first.

Herobrine
Game: Minecraft

Minecraft can be a bit uncomfortable on its own, especially to new players who aren’t accustomed to the sweeping, often overwhelming expanses with no real resources to turn to (in the PC edition, at least) and the swarms of monsters that descend at nightfall. This creepy legend follows a new player as they create a fresh new world, ripe for creation. In the distance, the player spots another character with a default player skin. The spooked crafter investigated to ensure they weren’t actually in a multiplayer game (easy enough to check, and there was no name floating above the stranger’s head) and finally went over to see if he could follow the mystery user.

The other player seemed to have vanished into thin air, but in his wake were several obviously man-made structures like small pyramids, forests of trees with no leaves, and other unnatural creations that only another player could have made. Obviously the first logical step to uncovering the mystery was to approach other players in Minecraft forums to ask if they too had encountered any sort of similar phenomenon, and during the investigation the player received a strange PM from the username “Herobrine.” The message contained only one staccato command: “Stop.”

From there, the user was suitably terrified and began communicating with other forum users through email, who mentioned they had seen the very same user in-game. They encountered the very same man-made creations and brief glimpses of the other player as well. With that knowledge, the player was intrigued, and after investigating the issue further decided to message Notch, the game’s developer. It turns out the name “Herobrine” had previously been a handle used by Notch’s brother.

Notch finally replied to the user’s inquiry as to if he had a brother, to which Notch replied “I did, but he is no longer with us.” Chilling words -- could Herobrine be a figment of the player’s imagination, or was he really captured in the screenshot widely circulated with the story? As if Minecraft wasn’t occasionally terrifying enough, right?

The Note Sent to Sony
Game: Twisted Metal

Legend has it that in 2003, Sony began work on Twisted Metal: Harbor City, which was to be a follow-up to the popular Twisted Metal: Black. The draw for this sequel was said to be a series of highways that would finally offer players a seamless, open world ripe for exploration. Unfortunately, the project never came to fruition, as six of the founding team members were killed after a plane trip on March 13, 2005. The planned game was canceled soon after that.

On March 13, 2007, a mysterious note arrived at Sony HQ. The note begged and pleaded to Sony employees that fans should be allowed to play the levels the deceased team members had worked so hard on. Bizarrely, the note was signed with the names of all six members to have been lost in the plane crash.

Of course, it was ruled out that this note was nothing more than a very sick joke originating from some clearly disturbed fans, but it was ultimately decided the levels would be released to the public for play, stripped of its connective freeways or stories for each of the characters, and thus Sony offered an interesting challenge to players: complete all levels in the lost story mode of Twisted Metal: Head-On: Extra Twisted Edition, and you could see the note in its entirety. If you completed all levels in lost mode on the “hard” difficulty, you’d be able to “unlock its secrets.”

The note itself can be viewed online in its entirety, and has of course been revealed to be simply a riddle for uncovering the release of Twisted Metal on the PlayStation 3, but stranger things have happened, and this is a fantastic example of the makings of a great urban legend.

Sharks, dogs, rats, snakes, even earthworms. Any one of them (being big enough, or with enough of their friends) can kill you dead…quickly. The animal world is pretty much a bastard with big teeth and an insatiable appetite waiting to eat whatever lesser life form comes across its path. Piranha 3DD is the newest reminder of that.

Everyone loves their favorite pet and can't get enough of happy little penguins or otters or other cute creatures, but the truth is animals can be simply brutal. Just keep that little fact in the back of your mind the next time you bend down to pet a strange dog. Snap! Goodbye nose. With that in mind, and with Piranha 3DD hitting the open waters, isn't it only fitting that we would take a look back at the Top 13 Killer Animal Films of All Time?!?!

Of course we mustn't forget our honorable mentions! Who could forget such great animalistic frights like Wolfen, Of Unknown Origin and Mulberry Street? Some great animal horror films have that element of humor that bring a whole different form of entertainment to the story like Sharktopus (a personal guilty pleasure) and Snakes on a Plane. But perhaps the most effective animal attack films are the ones that take place in the water, where we are at our most vulnerable, such as Rogue and Deep Blue Sea. But those are just the HMs! Now dig in (in no particular order…but honestly most of the better ones are near the end) to the Top 13!

Piranha (1978)
Might as well start right here, the film that was the original inspiration for this new series of Piranha 3D films. Joe Dante directed this bastard child of Jaws that took the aquatic threat out of the ocean and put it into the river, thus expanding the number of people certain to be freaked out. For some reason whenever the government begins experimental weaponization of anything, calamity ensures and Operation: Razorteeth was no different. Let's see…combine man-eating fish with government intervention. Bad idea. This horrifically bloody, edge-of-your-seat adventure is campy and fun and makes you think twice before dipping your tootsies in even the most serene bodies of water. Nom nom nom.

Willard (1971)
When are we going to learn to stop antagonizing the quirkiest folks among us? I guess along those same lines, when are the quirkiest among us going to realize that things like training rats to do your evil bidding is pretty much a lousy idea. Neither of these rather easy to grasp lessons were heeded very well in Willard. Bruce Davison plays the outcast title character masterfully as he befriends and trains his vermin-filled army to do his nutsy bidding before they eventually turn on him. Can't trust a rat, Willard. You, of all people, should have known that.

Squirm (1976)
Okay, everybody hates snakes, right? I know there are those of you out there that are the exception to the rule, you've got 20 ball pythons in fish tanks around your house, but as a general observation, I think it's safe to say the majority of the public would like to spend as much time away from snakes as possible. But what about earthworms? Very snakelike, but somehow they don't get the same bad rap as their larger brethren. However, anyone who's ever had the chance to dig Squirm knows that those wiggly little devils, in large enough numbers, can be just as deadly as anything. As for me, I don't even like fishing because of the whole worm on the hook process, so millions of earthworms shocked into a murderous frenzy by a giant bolt of electricity is more than I would care to deal with. Thanks for calling.

The Birds (1963)
Can't forget this classic. Alfred Hitchcock made people feeding flocks of birds in parks and on the beach think twice before they busted out that bag of bread crumbs. Tippi Hedren stars as one of the original masters of horror weaves a shocking tale. The great thing about this film is that it takes something previously looked at as beautiful and serene, a flock of soaring birds, and puts that uncomfortable thought into the mind of those who had seen the film. Instead of strolling through the park thinking 'Look at that beautiful flock of birds…how lovely.' those who've experienced the movie think. 'Look at that beautiful flock of birds…let's get the fuck out of here, just in case.' Now that's brilliant horror!

Anaconda (1997)
How anyone can watch this film and not smile all the way through it is beyond me. From Danny Trejo's (pre-Machete) obligatory early film death scene to Jon Voight's totally random and unidentifiable accent to the fact that the cast is made up of players that became superstars, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson and even Eric Stoltz, Anaconda is just pure joy in my book. Yeah, it's basically just a boatload of people trying to avoid a giant man-eating snake, but it does take the time to delve into the man vs. man conflict that so often arises when man finds himself in conflict with anything else. Anaconda is just a jolly good time!

Alligator (1980)
Every intelligent movie watcher tries to take a lesson away from each film they view. Sometimes the filmmakers hide the lesson within the folds of the film, urging the savvy viewer to seek it out. Other times the message is quite clear, as is the case in Alligator. The message this film is broadcasting is simple…for god's sake don't flush baby alligators that you purchase on vacation down your toilet because sooner or later they are going to come across some wonky experimental growth chemical in the sewer, grow to 36 feet long and terrorize Chicago. As life lessons go, this is a pretty good one to keep close to your heart. Alligator is another fun, giant-beast-on-the-rampage film that has spent its existence getting audiences to cheer for the monster as it makes its way through a pile of tasty bodies.

Lake Placid (1999)
Everything about Alligator was ramped to a ridiculous level in Lake Placid. Another animal attack flick with a pretty impressive cast which included Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, Brendan Gleeson and the unforgettable Betty White. Any film that has the former "Golden Girls" star utter the line "If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it!" is golden in my book! Lake Placid was a creature feature on performance enhancing drugs. Great comedy, awesome monster and a story with a quality twist. What more can you ask for in a good killer croc pic?

Kingdom of the Spider (1977)
Okay, so theoretically this list is supposed to be about killer animals. We recently had our Top 10 Creepy Crawly films for the bug infestation enthusiasts out there, but Kingdom of the Spiders is just too…je ne sais quoi…to leave off the animal attack list. William Shatner is so perfect in this role as he battles legions upon legions of tarantulas! Ugh. Any film that hires 'Mexican spider wranglers' and pays them $10 for every eight-legged beastie they can deliver is off to a good, icky start. The picture was filmed for $500,000, the aforementioned Mexican spider wranglers managed to procure 5,000 (that's right, five thousand friggin' tarantulas!), so doing the math (…carry the five…) $50,000, or 10 percent of Kingdom of the Spiders' total budget, was spent on hairy-legged extras (spiders, not hippie chicks). Bleech!

Grizzly Man (2005)
You may not have seen this one coming, but yeah, it doesn't really get much more horrific than this. A delusional, crazy-guy with a bit of a hubris problem, filming hours upon hours of himself playing with grizzly bears, until…big surprise here…the big muther truckers decide that his entertainment value is not nearly as high as his nutritional value. I'll let you all make your shocked faces here. For those of you unfamiliar with the film, Grizzly Man is a documentary about grizzly enthusiast Timothy Treadwell who filmed himself interacting with grizzly bears in Alaska for 13 years…and then they ate him and his girlfriend. Fin. Filmmaker Werner Herzog was alert enough to realize that this legitimate found footage would make a compelling story. And he was right. Another film just trying to teach a lesson. Stay the hell away from grizzly bears because if they want to eat you, you're gonna be food. You can't outrun them, can't outswim them. Try climbing a tree? Good luck with that. Learn from Treadwell's mistakes, do not feed the bears!

Jurassic Park (1993)
Now we're getting into the heavy hitters. Jurassic Park, technically maybe a monster movie, but since dinosaurs did exist at one time (at least that's what those smarty-pants scientists are always telling us) I think they can make the list…even if it's a genetically engineered version of the creatures. Watching JP for the first time was an absolutely mind-blowing experience. The sights and sounds (perhaps only Mercedes McCambridge as Pazuzu's voice in The Exorcist demonstrated a more terrifying use of sound than the unforgettable T. Rex roar). This was a Herculean undertaking by the filmmakers who came out on the other side looking like heroes. Jurassic Park is simply an amazing film that spawned countless sequels, imitators and video games, but nothing could ever match that first look at the creatures as we could feel the exact emotion that Laura Dern brought to life on the screen. Beautiful.

King Kong (1933)
"Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes...it was Beauty killed the Beast." Damn women. Can't live with them, can't kidnap them and climb the Empire State Building while swatting fighter planes before crashing to your death. What's a guy to do? Talk about iconic…they don't get much bigger and bolder than the big ape. King Kong was the ultimate animal on the rampage. But where most of the other entries on this list were driven by either rage or hunger or an innate desire to kill, Kong was different. He was driven by a desire to protect…well, there was a lot of smashing in there too, but Kong had a good heart. A landmark film that would pave the way for tons of giant beast to come. Nearly 80 years later, the name King Kong is still as prevalent and memorable as when he arrived on the scene so many moons ago.

Cujo (1983)
Some of Stephen King's best, and most horrific moments, come when he's dealing with claustrophobic situations. He loves to let the voyeuristic reader peek in on a helpless victim trapped in a nearly hopeless situation…Misery, The Shining, Gerald's Game all deal with situations where the character can't leave…trapped. Perhaps no one was more completely trapped and utterly helpless than the great Dee Wallace in Cujo. Pinned into a tiny car with her son by a rabid St. Bernard was a shitty situation. Realizing no one is coming for you while the sun pounds down on the car is even worse. Cujo was the ultimate nightmare for anyone uncomfortable around dogs. And, like King Kong, the name itself, Cujo, is still part of the lexicon. You can still refer to a big, scary dog as Cujo and people, horror fan or not, will know exactly what you're talking about. It's almost exhausting to watch the film as you can feel the tension and the heat in that car. Brilliant movie making.

Jaws (1975)
Could there be any other film at the end of this list? Jaws changed the game. Forget about oceans or lakes or rivers, I was personally afraid to go in the swimming pool as a youngster after seeing this thing. And I think there are plenty of you out there who can say the same thing (I hope so at least). It's the epitome of a slow-burn, giving you just enough each time as the film winds on. Even the soundtrack is legendary. And the great white shark is such a perfect vehicle to drive a horror film…black soulless eyes, a mouth full of teeth that look like they were just randomly jammed in there by a manic toymaker. The great white shark…the perfect killer, and Jaws the perfect animal attack film.

Father's Day: the hallowed holiday where we celebrate dads everywhere, even the shining examples of fatherhood that see fit to terrorize their offspring as if they were the enemy. Wait! Those aren't the dads we want to celebrate! They're part of the problem!

Bad parenting seems to be a bit of a trend when it comes to horror, and we've got 13 daddies, a mixed bag of the good and bad, to celebrate the upcoming holiday...and perhaps make you appreciate your own father a little more.

First we celebrate the dedicated dads who'd do anything for their children – as few as there seem to be in fiction, that is.

Rick Grimes, “The Walking Dead”
Actor: Andrew Lincoln

A dedicated father through and through, Rick's first actions upon waking from his coma are searching for his wife and son in the midst of the zombie apocalypse, which has been raging on at that point for quite some time. Though flawed as a husband and a father, Rick's always trying to do right by his family, even when he hits a few rough spots along the way. Carl may not be the ideal son, but readers of the comics and viewers of the TV series certainly can't question the love Rick has for his son.

The Father, Let Me In
Actor: Richard Jenkins

Even though Abby, the child vampire seen in the American remake of cult classic Let the Right One In, isn't truly his daughter, the lengths The Father will go to in order to ensure her safety are admirable – stalking and murdering victims to retrieve blood to feed Abby. Though his intentions are considerably less noble in Let The Right One In (as portrayed by Per Ragnar), The Father is shown as a caring father figure who only wants to ensure his special companion's safety...and satiety.

Frank Carveth, The Brood
Actor: Art Hindle

After Frank Carveth starts noticing strange bruises and other marks on his daughter, Candice, after a recent visit with her mother (from whom he's now divorced on the grounds that she's insane), he knows something freaky's going down. And he doesn't want his daughter to be a part of it, for good reason. David Cronenberg's delightfully disgusting The Brood spotlights a father who hacks through some particularly unsettling mutant children to get Candice away from her mother and the “psychoplasmically” birthed abominations that resulted from her own mental hangups. Through it all Frank's focus is on protecting his real offspring. Admirable.

Gomez Addams, “The Addams Family”
Actor: John Astin

Mr. Addams is the father of two very “special” children and the head of quite the unique household. Even still, he's an enthusiastic and exemplary father, taking a keen interest in all of his children's activities and interests – when he's not too busy cavorting with Morticia. Like Pugsley and Wednesday, he's got a soft spot for toys and other eccentricities himself, and he's always happy to make sure all of their needs are met, as long as they're not too bizarre, like wanting to intermingle with the rest of those “normal” people in the neighborhood.

And now, here are the decidedly not-so-thoughtful fathers who could stand to learn a thing or two from their kinder brethren. Seriously, guys. What's wrong with you all?

Chris Cleek, The Woman
Actor: Sean Bridgers

Lucky McKee's adaptation of Jack Ketchum's disturbing novel The Woman (his follow-up to Offspring) follows Chris Cleek, the morally bankrupt patriarch of the Cleeks, a family comprised of meek wife Belle, detached daughter Peggy; deviant son Brian, and innocent Darlin'. After happening upon the titular Woman, a feral human female, on a hunting trip in the woods, Chris takes it upon himself to capture and “civilize” her, by any means necessary. His word is law as he forces every member of the family to pitch in while performing acts on the Woman that range from perverse to inhumane. But that's not among his worst offenses, which
include cultivating his only son to follow in his sexist footsteps and apparently having impregnated his own daughter, all the while verbally and physically abusing his wife. He gets what's coming to him in the end but only after agonizing years of inflicting suffering onto the Cleek children.

Nathan Grantham, Creepshow
Actor: Jon Lormer

Nathan, star of Stephen King's short story “Father's Day” as seen in Creepshow, is a real piece of work. His family's rich all right, off of the suffering of others. After emotionally abusing his daughter, Bedelia, for a number of years, treating her like dirt, and capitalizing on the pain he induced on others (not to mention those he murdered and extorted), Bedelia's finally had enough and offs him with a marble ashtray – on Father's Day, no less. What's he do? He has the nerve to come back to life after Bedelia mistakenly spills whiskey upon his grave, moaning and yowling for the Father's Day cake he was never able to eat – screaming at his daughter to bring it to him. He kills off every last one of his heirs and has the audacity to go after the daughter he abused all her life, all to get at that stupid Father's Day cake, which he hadn't earned by any means whatsoever.

Jack Torrance, The Shining
Actor: Jack Nicholson

Technically, Wendy Torrance's husband, Jack, isn't completely at fault when it comes to the events that unfold in The Shining, but he's still carrying them all out. From attacking his wife and son with a variety of weapons, verbal assaults, and other various acts to “correct” their behavior, he's probably not someone you'd want to leave your child with for an extended period of time. Poor little Danny. Poor Wendy. Shining or not, Jack's not exactly the most glamorous father you could hope to have.

Don, 28 Weeks Later
Actor: Robert Carlyle

From the very beginning of the movie, Don marks himself as a relatively useless father and husband when he leaves his wife alone with a ravenous group of savages in their now infected cottage. It's not too much of a stretch to understand how Don quickly turns into a useless, disgusting father once he's infected as well, pursuing his own children with the intent of killing and snacking on them...without the influence of those bath salts we've been hearing so much about lately.

Ed Wilson, Natural Born Killers
Actor:: Rodney Dangerfield

Mallory's father, Ed Wilson, portrayed by Rodney Dangerfield no less, is the epitome of the American scumbag husband – you know, the one who heckles his wife, expects that his word be law, and violates his daughter on a regular basis. He finally gets what's coming to him by the time Mickey hits the scene (like, Mickey and Mallory 4-Ever!), but his actions up to the point where Mallory runs away with Mickey are completely inexcusable. The licentious patriarch and his various sexist remarks are made even more creepworthy by the scenes being shot as a sitcom parody.

Gordon Fleming, Session 9
Actor: Peter Mullan

At first glance Session 9's Gordon doesn't seem like a bad guy. He's a new father and loving husband...until you see he likes to slap his wife when she accidentally spills boiling water on him. He's not so much of a fantastic man then and becomes even less of one at the climax of Session 9 when part of a dissociative personality disorder “tells” him to murder both his wife and small daughter – in fact, that's actually what had happened all along. A bit of an extreme reaction, wouldn't you say? Prime candidate for Father of the Year material right here.

Gus Gilbert, Pet Sematary 2
Actor: Clancy Brown

It's not enough to be a horrible stepfather. Gus Gilbert had to shoot his stepson Drew's beloved dog Zowie as well. The overbearing, rude town sheriff receives his just desserts, but that doesn't excuse him from being an absolute nightmare of a stepfather to deal with, verbally abusing Drew and assaulting him with vicious comments over and over throughout his initially short life. He doesn't get away with being a truly pathetic excuse for a human being thankfully, but he's just another example of someone who should never be given the responsibility of raising children.

The Stepfather, The Stepfather
Actor: Terry O’Quinn

Terry O'Quinn in the titular role couldn't have been a better choice in the 1987 chiller The Stepfather. This man is all over the map when it comes to playing the role of doting father and convincing con man, going out of his way to show stepdaughter Stephanie he's the real deal and showering her with gifts like a brand new puppy. The facade fades when Stephanie is suspicious of him and begins to question what exactly is fishy about her mother's new beau. Things go horribly awry when the Stepfather decides Stephanie must be silenced as he sets about killing not only her but also the puppy he gave to her as a gift.

Henry Spencer, Eraserhead
Actor: Jack Nance

It's pretty clear from the onset of Eraserhead (when most things in the surrealist flick aren't) that Henry Spencer isn't exactly pleased with his relationship or the fact that he's basically been forced into marrying his girlfriend due to her sudden pregnancy. In Henry's defense, his child is a strange, misshapen mutant creature that most certainly doesn't seem human, but that doesn't excuse his eventual cutting into the creature with a pair of scissors and basically abandoning it.

Share your picks for the best and worst below, and Happy Father's Day to all you dads in the Dread Central family!

In celebration of the DVD release of Exit Humanity (review here), the Civil War-themed zombie romp, we thought it would be a fine time to take a look back at some of the greatest zombie hordes throughout the history of the sub-genre.

As always, let's start with some honorable mentions. The fact it's Peter Jackson directed, and one of the goriest films of all time, means Dead Alive (aka Braindead) and its infected mob is certainly worthy of an honorable mention here. Also one of the unheralded all-time classics… and perhaps the zombie film with the greatest title ever…Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, directed by Bob Clark and featuring zombie Orville Dunworth and his undead friends, gets another nod. Also a big honorable mention to the underrated 2009 French film The Horde, which featured a very impressive group of hungry undead.

Now let's get to the meat of the story *rimshot* ...

"The Walking Dead" (2010 to present)
Inspired by the awesome comic, AMC's "The Walking Dead" has absolutely taken the world by storm. Destroying cable viewing records, "The Walking Dead" has gone from a six-episode experiment to one of the most popular shows on television. And much of it has to do with the amazing story behind our beloved survivors, but as much as we love the drama, the zombies regularly manage to steal the show.

With some of the most impressive make-up you'll ever see, applied by some of the best artists in the business, the zombies in "The Walking Dead" are absolutely amazing. As for specific memorable hordes from the show, Sophia's group emerging from Herschel's barn was certainly one, as was the horde that followed the helicopter, and then ultimately Rick's gunshot, to invade the farm and move our heroes on down the road at the end of Season 2. But the most iconic shot of the zombies thus far had to be the massive group that surrounded Rick in the tank at the end of the first episode of the show. As the group of undead got bigger and bigger around the stalled tank and Rick's fallen horse, viewers got a clear picture as to just what a horrific situation the survivors were in.

Dead Snow (2009)
Perhaps the sleekest looking zombie horde award should go to the group from Dead Snow, the 2009 Norwegian zombie film featuring a group of Nazi zombies. Nazi zombies…now there is a butt-load of trouble.

Writer/director of Dead Snow Tommy Wirkolav, in search of something even more evil than a zombie, came up with the idea of Nazi zombies. Well, to be honest, he didn't actually create the idea of Nazi zombies (that was taken care of 25 years ago with the film Shock Waves), but they were damn impressive looking.

28 Days Later (2002)
Danny Boyle's film makes this list for one huge reason. And yes, you're going to tell me the creatures in this film were not true undead, but rather infected by…I know, I know. But they're damn close enough to be called zombies. And what did 28 Days Later introduce to the zombie world? Speed. Goddamn fast zombies!

Yes, the godfather of the modern zombie, George Romero, is adamant that zombies do not run. He's got a great quote that goes something like: "Try running when you have the flu…you think you're gonna run when you're dead?" But adapting these zombie-like creatures to be fast as hell makes them that much scarier. The 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake followed suit with the speedy zombies (which must have really frosted Romero's ass), leading to an entire new sub-genre within the zombie sub-genre itself. Fast zombies. Consider the bar raised.

Zombie (1979)
Also known as Zombi 2 (Romero's Dawn of the Dead was entitled Zombi in Italy, and this Italian film, directed by Lucio Fulci, was a sequel in title only; the films were completely unrelated). This zombie horde knew how to throw down, and the film contains some quite memorable and horrific scenes. (We don't need to remind you of the Zombie vs. Shark encounter, I'm sure…or the impaled eyeball…yikes!)

The Zombie horde was incredibly ugly (with the iconic worm-eyed zombie leading the way) and incredibly violent, initially leading to all kinds of bannings, "X" ratings and other efforts to keep audiences from this masterpiece of the macabre. In the end the public's insatiable bloodthirstiness won out, and Zombie is now deeply entrenched in the history books as one of the most impressive undead offerings to date.

Michael Jackson's "Thriller" Video (1983)
How can you leave the most popular zombie video of all time off this list? "Thriller" is the definition of iconic, and that horde had some moves! The "Thriller" video sold 9 million units and became the first music video ever inducted into the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress for being “culturally, historically or aesthetically” significant."

And what a pedigree this 13-minute short film has. (And don't think any differently; that's exactly what "Thriller" is. It's not a music video; it's a short film). It was directed by John Landis, who certainly knew a little something about werewolves. Zombies were just the next logical step. Legendary F/X artist Rick Baker assisted with the make-up, and the voice-over was done by horror hall of famer Vincent Price. The zombies looked incredible and were easily the most viewed gang of undead of all time. "Thriller" was nothing short of historic.

Return of the Living Dead (1985)
"More brains!. Return of the Living Dead had perhaps the most star-studded zombie horde ever! Undead legends Tarman and Half-Corpse crawled right out of Return of the Living Dead and into our nightmares. Additionally, one of the most overlooked zombies ever, the little person zombie (a personal favorite), is in there as well, shuffling amongst the horde.

Return of the Living Dead marked the first instance where zombies were looking for braaaaains, instead of just any living body part they could get their hands on. Not that they were overly fussy, but they did prefer grey matter. Again we have incredible special effects, but in Return of the Living Dead everything was enhanced by a great sense of humor. Return of the Living Dead is a treasure to the horror genre.

Night of the Living Dead (1968), Dawn of the Dead (1978), Day of the Dead (1985)
The three greatest zombie films of all time? Yes, arguably. George A. Romero at his finest, directing the films that would introduce the unsuspecting viewing audience to a world of reanimated, undead creatures whose only goal was to eat living humans. Inspired by Richard Matheson's 1954 vampire novel I Am Legend, Romero single-handedly created a brand new monster.

And each of these three films are amazing in their own way. Night of the Living Dead is absolutely iconic. It started everything and spawned an entire sub-genre of horror that is flourishing like no other today. In Dawn of the Dead Romero was able to expand the production, resulting in a bigger and better story and many, many more ghouls to go around. And in Day of the Dead the humor and F/X took center stage. Howard Sherman's portrayal of the zombie Bub was immensely funny and entertaining, and the F/X, most notably the mass zombie kills at the end of the film, were amazing with Tom Savini and Greg Nicotero doing the heavy lifting.

The zombie sub-genre of horror is basically still very young. If you consider Night of the Living Dead the birth of the modern zombie, then you're talking about a creature that's not even 45 years old yet. However, the zombie has come a long way in that time. Here's hoping that Exit Humanity can follow in the footsteps of some of the great zombie hordes of the past.

"Based on true events...""Inspired by a true story..." However you phrase it, one key word always manages to make horror more horrific: true. Sit back and relax as we take a look at some movies based upon the strange, bizarre, and weird.

Sure, much horror carrying the "true story" tag is only loosely based on actual events. Just think of how many extremely different envisionings of the Ed Gein story there are. Everything from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre to The Silence of the Lambs and hundreds in-between trace their roots to that twisted Wisconsin deviant. But there's just something about knowing even a modicum of the heinous tale unfolding on the screen before your eyes is true that makes it that much more chilling.

Now, say your film is not only based on a true story, but one which involves supernatural, unexplainable events. Now you're really onto something. Everyone loves a good ghost story. Nothing gets the skin crawling faster than a haunted house. With the release of The Apparition on Friday, August 24, we've decided to look back at some of the best films based on actual hauntings and supernatural events. So sit back, strap in and prepare to look back on some horrific hauntings… based on true events!

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

One of the more recent haunted house films based on actual reports, The Haunting in Connecticut tells a very interesting story. The film is based on the story of Carmen Snedeker and her family, who were in the market for a home closer to the University of Connecticut's Heath Center, where Carmen's son was being treated for cancer. The house they settled upon turned out to have a very sordid past. The film goes into some of the history of the house, but not everything.

In the true story the family found mortuary equipment in the basement and realized they were living in a former funeral home. Now, stop right there… there has to be some kind of real estate ethics rule that says you've got to disclose the fact to a potential buyer that the former owner of a home had dead bodies on ice 24/7, right? Anyway, if that wasn't bad enough, it turns out the owners of the mortuary were involved in necromancy (you can almost live with that one) and necrophilia (that's where I've gotta draw the line). And the room where the Snedeker children were sleeping was once the coffin showroom. Yikes.

The film did have some intense moments, but the true strength of it may have been the questions as to where the haunting visions were coming from. Was it indeed a supernatural occurrence, or were they schizophrenic hallucinations. By embracing the questions as to the legitimacy of the events, the filmmakers actually ended up with a better movie, delivering a unique version of the traditional ghost story we've become accustomed to.

The Entity (1981)

The Entity is based on the story of Doris Bither. This is a sad story, paranormal involvement or not. On August 22, 1974, a paranormal investigation was opened on Bither and her family at 11547 Braddock Drive, Culver City, California. By the time the investigation was launched, the house was a dump, having been condemned by the city twice, and Bither herself was a disaster, covered in bruises. She had four children she was living with, a 6-year-old daughter and three sons, ages 10, 13 and 16, with whom she had a volatile relationship. Bither claimed the house was haunted, and the children, as well as other individuals outside the home, corroborated her story.

Bither informed the investigators that not only were spirits inhabiting her home, they were abusing her, physically and sexually. Now, Bither had a history of abuse by her parents and several men throughout her life, as well as a pretty rip-roaring case of alcoholism that may have contributed to the fact that she was experiencing such extreme visions. However, investigators were able to document some paranormal activity, the obligatory orbs et al, as well as a greenish, coiling mist which apparently formed the shape of a muscular man's torso. Unfortunately, nothing but the orbs and a light arc were captured on film.

The Entity follows the story of Carla Moran, who is based on Bither. Barbara Hershey plays the role, which does include the history of abuse but doesn't get into some of the other dark places in Bither's life. The Entity, however, does feature the spectral rape of which Bither claimed she was a victim. Certainly a unique and disturbing ghost story.

An American Haunting (2005)

Although it took a pounding by critics and audience members alike, and crapped the bed at the box office, An American Haunting definitely belongs on this list. The film is based on the book The Bell Witch: An American Haunting by Brent Monahan.

The Bell Witch legend revolves around the Bell family of Adams, Tennessee, and it's one of the most widely recognized cases of American poltergeist activity. The Bell Witch legend was also among the inspirations for The Blair Witch Project. In the late 1800's the Bell family reported paranormal experiences. The incidents started with noises in the walls but grew to include strange sounds and people experiencing the sensation of being pinched, slapped, objects being thrown and the spirit (apparently named Kate) loudly cursing the family.

Most of the activity occurred around Betsy Bell, the family's youngest daughter and apparently worsened after she became engaged to Joshua Gardner. Debunkers of the legend contest that a local schoolteacher, Richard Powell, jealous of Betsy's fiancé, was responsible for the haunting, trying to scare Gardner away so he could have Betsy to himself. Now that's romantic.

An American Haunting is centered around the Bell Witch legend but has a tie-in to modern times that involves a troubled girl and sexual abuse that was perpetrated upon her and (according to the film) Betsy Bell as well. In this case the film certainly gets a bit more brutal than the legend.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

Before she was the brash Debra Morgan on "Dexter" or battling an apartment building full of baddies in Quarantine, Jennifer Carpenter channeled the spirit of German woman Anneliese Michel in The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Although marketed as a pure horror movie, the film was as much a courtroom drama as it was a horror flick as we follow the story of the priest who performed the exorcism which eventually killed Emily.

Anneliese Michel was a disturbed woman who suffered from depression throughout her life, and no type of medical attention could cure her. She was prescribed one medication after another with nothing changing her condition. Being a devout Catholic woman, Michel eventually began to consider the fact that she may be possessed by a demonic spirit. A request for an exorcism was submitted to the Church and eventually granted. The exorcism lasted through 67 sessions, one or two per week, for up to four hours for 10 months between 1975 and 1976. Eventually Michel began to talk about dying to atone for the behavior of the youth of the day and stopped eating and drinking. She eventually died of malnutrition and dehydration, weighing 68 pounds at the time of her death on July 1, 1976. The priest who performed the exorcism and Michel's parents were convicted of manslaughter due to negligence and received prison terms; however, they were suspended.

In The Exorcism of Emily Rose, the exorcism itself is viewed through a series of flashbacks during the courtroom proceedings. Carpenter went above and beyond in the role, performing many of the painful looking bodily contortions without the aid of a stunt double or F/X. It touches a bit upon the fact that the victim of the supposed possession felt a larger obligation to society but does not venture into the starvation aspect of the story.

The Exorcist (1973)

So this is more inspired by a true story than actually based on one, but anything that can make The Exorcist even scarier needs to be addressed. And the story that inspired The Exorcist may be one of the few possession stories with a happy ending.

The film is based on the case of the exorcism of Roland Doe (a pseudonym given to him by the Church). It's also known as the exorcism of Robbie Mannheim. William Peter Blatty, author of The Exorcist, read about this case in 1949 when he was a member of the Class of 1950 at Georgetown University. One of Roland's favorite playmates in his youth was his Aunt Harriet, a spiritualist. She introduced him to the Ouija board. When Harriet died, it is believed the 13-year-old Roland tried to contact her using the board. That's when the shit hit the fan.

The story of Roland Doe is one of typical possession symptoms. Nine priests and 39 witnesses signed the documents verifying his deteriorating condition. The details of the exorcism come mainly from notes kept by Raymond Bishop, an attendee of the events. Doe injured several members of the group performing the exorcism, including doling out a broken nose and a wound that required stitches. Everything from the welts and unexplainable writing on his flesh to the guttural voice (that goddamn guttural voice gets me every time!) were reported to have occurred.

The exorcism ceremony was performed approximately 30 times over several weeks with a very loud noise being heard at the end of the last one. Amazingly, after the exorcism was completed, the symptoms disappeared and Roland went on to lead a normal life, became a father and grandfather and had no recollection of his alleged possession.

As far as the film goes, I'm sure you're all pretty much aware of how the events go down.

The Shining (1980)

There might not be a creepier haunting on film than that of The Shining. Stephen King visited The Stanley Hotel and stayed in the legendary Room 217 (yes, that of the waterlogged old lady) when the hotel was nearly deserted just before shutting down for an extended period of time. The result was The Overlook Hotel and The Shining, which Stanley Kubrick would turn into one of the most memorable horror films ever.

The Stanley Hotel was built by Freelan O. Stanley, who was co-inventor of the Stanley Steamer automobile, and many feel that his wife's ghost is the one that can be heard playing piano. When individuals have investigated the sound, no one is sitting at the piano bench. The kitchen staff has reported hearing a party in the ballroom, only to check it out and find nothing. Guests have spoken of waking up to see ghostly figures standing in their room. Yikes! The Stanley Hotel was simply the original inspiration for the novel, and Kubrick actually filmed at a location entitled The Timberline Lodge in Oregon. In 1997 King returned to The Stanley Hotel to film the television mini-series version of The Shining.

Jack and the axe and Redrum are all images conjured up by King's incredible imagination, not actual reports from the hotel. But if I'm waking up in a hotel and seeing a spectral figure standing in my room, I feel sorry for the cleaning staff because they are going to have some severely soiled sheets on their hands.

The Amityville Horror (1979)

This 1977 film was the first of 10 movies inspired by the house at 112 Ocean Avenue, the location of the infamous DeFeo murders. Ronald Joseph DeFeo, Jr., murdered the six members of his family at this location (that's not a movie, that's the real deal), creating the back story for one of the most famous hauntings in recent memory.

The film, which is, of course, based on the book The Amityville Horror: A True Story by Jay Anson, follows the story of the Lutz family, who moved into the former DeFeo home just 13 months after the murders. Nothing like letting the dead settle. It's no wonder the house was talking to them and they had flies everywhere! I guess the housing market in 1975 wasn't any better than it is today, and you've gotta jump on a deal…bloodstained carpets or not.

The Amityville Horror is the most recognizable and memorable reportedly true haunting that would go on to become a feature film as it was accompanied by a large amount of press disputing the claims as well as lawsuits alleging invasion of privacy and fraud, etc. In 1979 the homeowners George and Kathy Lutz took a lie detector test about the supernatural events in the home, and both passed. This story will go down as a true mystery, but, fact or fiction, we did get a kick-ass movie out of it.

There you have seven standout examples of documented real-life hauntings that have found their way to the big screen to help you get in the mood for The Apparition, hitting theaters on Friday, August 24.

Who's ready to go back to school? We are, and we know what's waiting: copious amounts of pig's blood, nightmare stalkers, masked killers, and more.

Actually, to be more realistic, what we'll probably get are more pencils, notebooks, and tests, at least in our schools. But we're not ones to dwell on the mundane, and thus we look to our favorite flicks for a disgustingly good time when it comes to those back to school blues. And believe it or not, the horror genre does it best with a veritable treasure trove of fantastic "scholarly" moments that find both students and faculty placed in some particularly precarious pickles (that's called "alliteration," students).

We've rounded up nine of the best "educational" experiences we could find in the realm of horror. Beware the next time you hit the bus stop -- it could be your last.

1. Carrie

Perhaps the most quintessential school horror film of all time, Carrie explored some of the darkest sides of adolescent cruelty and the mind of a psychologically distressed young woman who, at her core, simply wanted to be accepted and loved by her peers: normal, just like those around her. Instead, poor Carrie had to deal with her own mother shaming her for going through puberty of all things, constant teasing and humiliation from her peers, and a dream come true (at least, what seemed like it), eventually culminating in the infamous scene where a bucket of pig's blood is dumped all over the fragile teen so the entire student body can laugh at her expense. Look at Carrie, that weirdo plain girl, all covered in blood! It's okay, right? Because of her period! Because it's perfectly fine to treat another human being that way. Carrie is still very much a haunting work that exposes some of the worst things young adults are capable of and the absolutely disgusting treatment girls will exact on each other. For that reason alone, it deserves a place on our list.

2. A Nightmare on Elm Street

One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better not fall asleep in class because next thing you know, Freddy will invade your dreams at school. How's that for paranoia? Nancy's been trying her best to keep sleep from claiming her around this point in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, but eventually she succumbs, finding Freddy screwing with her mind and toying with her even while she's in class. It drives the point home that nowhere is safe, making even a place like high school considerably more dangerous. Seriously, high school students charged with wrongful murder, having tons of premarital sex, and abusing their bodies and minds with sleep deprivation? It's disturbing stuff, especially when you take Freddy out of the equation and realize the very same horrors are affecting teens all over the world at this very moment. This classic film did a fantastic job with realizing these horrible twists of fate and creating an iconic slasher villain out of it in true horror fashion.

3. The Faculty

Herrington High School is having a pretty bad time of things. Some schools lose their funding for extra-curricular activities. Herrington is having both faculty and staff members being taken over by a host of alien parasites. We'll let you decide which one of those is the worse scenario. A misfit band of students bands together in order to combat the bizarre threat, ranging from lonely and insecure drug addicts to catty school newspaper nerds. The aliens (exactly like the Yeerks of "Animorphs" fame) literally worm their way into their hosts' ears and control the host from the inside. The alien slugs wish to eventually infect the entire student body, infecting new students one by one via rather suspect ear inspections -- bam, no earwax, but here's an ear parasite! Some particularly gruesome alien executions and eye stabbings take place, and the entire movie is smart commentary on the drone-like nature of high school and its hierarchy.

4. The Craft

A group of troubled teenagers rarely makes for a good ending in any movie, but The Craft sees to it that these students are even badder than normal, rounding up Sarah, Bonnie, Nancy, and Rochelle as social outcasts who also happen to dabble in witchcraft... in a Catholic high school, no less. The fledgling witch coven begins to wreak havoc upon their fellow students (read: anyone who dares to get in their way). Eventually the childish high school drama they cause takes a turn for the worst as their previously seemingly harmless spells turn into damaging and powerful curses that end up even more destructive and callous than ever imagined, eventually culminating in powers being stripped and some particularly catty high schoolers learning a much-needed lesson or two.

5. Jennifer's Body

This modern high school thriller may as well have been titled "Megan Fox Does Terrible Things," but we'll give it the benefit of the doubt. Megan Fox's gorgeous body hides a demonic spirit that's now in control over her every function. As her complete opposite BFF watches her disembowel and otherwise maim the captain of the football team and a string of other men, she knows she's got to do something, and fast. This darkly playful tale is a fantastic representation of current high school trends and experiences, even exploring unlikely relationships and other teenage happenings that really are just as terrifying as the movie portrays. It's also kind of funny, in a demon-possessing-your-cheerleader-best-friend kind of way. Don't let Megan Fox's starring role turn you away.

6. Prom Night

Ah, prom night -- originator of sloppy first time one-night stands, drunken regrets, and horrible fashion sense. Prom Night amplified all these things tenfold and injected an extra dangerous surprise for all the students involved: a bloodthirsty serial killer. Hooray? Your typical angsty teen drama unfolds as misfits find prom dates and mischievous ex-girlfriends scheme to embarrass their exes' new flames. Prom Night is a madcap tale of revenge, sex offenders, and horrible assailants that ends up with more dead teenagers than the infamous "Time of Your Life" Green Day drunk driving PSA. If you're going to check it out, though, be sure to watch the original Jamie Lee Curtis version.

7. Scream

Some tend to forget that the original Scream was actually set against a high school backdrop, and others still often confuse it with the parody Scary Movie, but it's actually a fantastic film that packs a wallop with iconic moments and death scenes centered around a bunch of high school kids. It all begins with student Casey incorrectly answering "Jason" when asked who the killer in Friday the 13th turns out to be. As any regular Dread Central reader would know, Casey, it's obviously Jason's mother. A sadistic chain of events unfold as Casey soon learns from her mysterious caller that her boyfriend is being held hostage and her life is in danger as well. Things don't end well for Casey, but the events that unfold are chilling and reminiscent of the very same kind of honor resonating from the original A Nightmare on Elm Street.

8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Before Sarah Michelle Gellar took up her vampire-slaying duties on the small screen, there was a film about little Buffy Summers, portrayed by Kristy Swanson. The early Valley Girl cheerleader had little to do with the series creator Joss Whedon would go on to find success with, but the movie is still quite the cult classic. One day she's just a regular high school girl whose only concerns are when she's going to get to go shopping next or which guy in school is the cutest, and the next she's tasked with training to become a skilled vampire slayer. Are we jealous? Yes, we have to admit, just a little. The film that started it all is a fun flick to come back to with treats for fans of the series and a great classic popcorn horror movie to kick back and watch with your friends.

9. I Know What You Did Last Summer

While I Know What You Did Last Summer doesn't deal with high school students and those specific days alone, it still gives the same overall vibe as the other films on our list. Sarah Michelle Gellar makes an appearance as a member of a band of students who actually hit and murder a man on the way home from a beauty pageant victory -- of course, everyone heads out to celebrate, right? Things seem dire until the group of scared teens decide that obviously the best way to deal with the situation is to dump the dead man's body into the ocean. Everything is hunky dory until the following summer, when a mysterious note arrives proclaiming, "I know what you did last summer." Cue a mysterious killer and students systematically being killed off. But think about this before you start feeling sorry for them: They DID kill some random guy and dump his body into the ocean, remember?

Happy back to school, everyone! Add your picks in the comments section below.

Do you know how many horror movies that have completely forgettable music will still end up with a soundtrack available for purchase? I can't tell you the amount of times I've gotten to the end of the credits of a terrible movie and saw "Soundtrack available on ________ records."

I can't help but be baffled that someone would want all those songs in one place. Other times, the soundtrack available for a horror movie is a compilation of songs either written for or inspired by the movie written by artists that reflect the tone of the movie. Other times, however, the music that accompanies a horror film so perfectly matches the tone of the movie you can't imagine any other music being sufficient, and even listening to that music on its own is enough to give you the creeps. The following soundtracks are the ones that no matter where you are or what you're doing, when you hear the music, you are instantly connected to the movie it was from and all those feelings you had while watching it.

6) Creepshow - John Harrison

Although the film itself isn't necessarily scary to most people, Creepshow showcased the talents of George Romero, Stephen King, and George Romero in a way that anthology films have had a hard time doing ever since. The variety of stories about a monster living under the stairs, to being haunted by two murdered lovers, to a bug infestation, Creepshow has something for everyone, and the soundtrack by John Harrison is no different. From the ominous, repetitive "Something To Tide You Over" giving you the feeling of an intensifying haunt, to "They're Creeping Up On You" getting under your skin and making you feel like bugs are on you, each song has a different feel to it, but with common themes and musical sounds that pull each theme together. As the movie has something for everyone, so does the soundtrack.

5) The Thing (1982) - Ennio Morricone

Considered to be some of John Carpenter's best work, and one of the few examples where a remake is generally regarded to be better than the original, The Thing gave audiences feelings of paranoia, isolation, and the bleakness of life. Departing from his usual style, Carpenter relinquished his composer responsibilities to Ennio Morricone, an Italian composer who was made famous by his work on Spaghetti Westerns, specifically his work for his friend Sergio Leone like A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. In retrospect, it seems so ridiculously obvious that the best way for Carpenter to convey those themes of isolation and being surrounded by an environment so incredibly harsh and dangerous, with the people encountered being the only rival to those dangers, was picking someone like Morricone.

4) The Exorcist - Mike Oldfield/Krzysztof Penderecki/Jack Nitzsche

In The Exorcist modern science and religion come to debate over what has afflicted young Regen. The score heavily features classical music which wasn't even composed for the film, as the original score, by Lalo Schifrin, was considered too intense by the movie studio. Director William Friedkin chose other pieces that worked well, despite those musical pieces not necessarily being instantly recognizable. When it comes to one movie being epitomized through music, do we really even need to go any further than the main theme, "Tubular Bells"? This minimalist theme grows more intense, more erratic, and more jarring, despite the main harmony repeating endlessly. It's that never-ending hook that reminds you that no matter what happens to the characters in the film, there are some things bigger than them that will continue forever.

3) Phantom of the Paradise - Paul Williams

What happens when you take equal parts Phantom of the Opera, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Brian De Palma? You get Phantom of the Opera, a rock opera that fulfills both words in that term. All William Finley's character wants to do is release his epic concerto about Faust, but when his music is stolen by Paul Williams' character and Finley is deformed in a record press, it's Finley's character's mission to prevent the music from being released. From jazzy songs being sung by the lead Jessica Harper to songs about the tortured anguish of Finley's character to straight-up arena rock, and even a few Beach Boys-esque songs, this soundtrack runs the gamut. One thing that's for sure is that every song is awesome and shows you why Paul Williams gained the reputation he rightfully deserves.

2) Suspiria - Goblin

Picking just one entry for all of the frequent collaborations between Goblin and director Dario Argento was tough, and there was much debate, but their soundtrack for Suspiria comes out on top. Suspria follows a young girl attending ballet school; yet. when a series of mysterious, violent events take place, she realizes there's more to this school than what she had previously thought. I've gone on record to say that the opening scenes of this movie are some of the most surreal, disturbing, and disorienting openings of any horror movie, due strongly in part to Goblin's score. The music is innocent and whimsical, yet eclectic and chaotic enough to let you know there's evil brewing just beneath the surface.

1) Halloween - John Carpenter

What do Star Wars, Rocky, The Godfather and Halloween all have in common? It's that within seconds of hearing their theme song, you instantly recognize it and connect it not just with one film, not with just one style of filmmaking, but with an entire genre of film. As if the theme wasn't enough to immediately connect you with horror movies, it has become so ingrained in our culture that it's also connected with the holiday, which is also connected with an entire time of the year. I can't think of one other film in any other genre whose music can connect so many individuals into one consciousness of not just films, but of an entire holiday and all of the thoughts and feelings associated with it. As if the theme alone didn't accomplish that much, his entire soundtrack for the whole film helps to heighten the idea of a "Boogeyman" being right around the corner, and the inevitability that this Boogeyman's will to do harm is stronger than your will to survive. Based on his success with this score, it's no surprise (thankfully) that Carpenter provides the writing, direction, and music for so many of his films. Although, I suppose Halloween could have used more Kurt Russell.

As a show about a zombie apocalypse, "The Walking Dead" obviously has its fair share of zombies, or as they call them on the show, walkers. Despite the hundreds you have undoubtedly seen between the two seasons, there are some that have stuck out more than others.

So, instead of focusing on how many guys Lori has slept with or how many times Carl wasn't in the house when he was supposed to be, we pay tribute to the best of the best of the zombie world that aim to kill them.

WARNING: If you haven't watched an episode or aren't caught up, there are massive spoilers in this article.

1. The Swamp Walker

Poor Dale. Perhaps if Rick and Lori had performed better parental skills, Dale might still be alive. Instead, Carl doesn't receive the attention a boy in a childless world needs and is never in the house when he is supposed to be. As a result, he steals Daryl's gun and takes a walk in the woods only to come upon a walker stuck in the swamp. After taunting him with thrown rocks and the potential of young boy breakfast, the walker breaks free but misses out on a meal of Carl. Presumably having followed the scent of little boy, the swamp walker makes his way to the farm, only to tear poor Dale to shreds.

2. Little Girl Walker

The first zombie to grace the screen in the series is Summer, whose name we now know thanks to the social game. A flesh-eating child, probably being the last thing you would want to see while on the search for your own child and wife, Summer represents the death of innocence. All cute in her little robe, bunny slippers and the chunk of skin missing from her face, Rick has to put her down when she charges him.

3. Bicycle Zombie

Now known as Hannah, this is the first "living" zombie Rick sees after leaving the hospital. Just a torso and rotten flesh, Hannah poses no real threat to him, but she is the first proof Rick has that the dead live. Unable to walk due to the lack of legs, Hannah can only drag herself, so she doesn't get very far when Rick, who sympathizes with her, comes back to put her out of her misery.

4. Well Walker

Probably the most disgusting zombie on the show, the walker in the well is all fat and bloated from being in the water for God knows how long. The team decides not to shoot it because that would contaminate the water in the well. Let's face it: The guy probably already contaminated it, but they send Glenn down into the well to basically lasso the thing so they can bring it up. Despite a few glitches in their system, Glenn manages to pull it off, and off they go to remove the fatty from the well. What they didn't anticipate was how fragile the walker's skin would be from its days in the water, and it basically explodes in half, ruining any chance of water from the well. Next time they will learn to just shoot it and move on.

5. RV Walker

If you bought the Season 2 Limited Edition Blu-ray set, then you own a copy of this guy's head and you get to actively stab him in the eye with a screwdriver. Sounds like fun, right? It is, but doubtfully so for Andrea, who is stuck in the RV bathroom, hiding from the real guy. When she fails to put her gun together in time, Andrea has to resort to using a screwdriver passed down to her by Dale through the RV roof. It is a close one, but Andrea ultimately wins out by repeatedly stabbing him in the eye.

6. Sophia

After six episodes of searching for Sophia, fans just wanted it to be over already. Then came the dramatic Episode Seven. Daryl has been injured and almost killed, thanks to Andrea's terrible shot with a sniper rifle, searching for the girl and coming up with only her doll. That doll, however, is a sign that Sophia might just be alive. Even when Glenn finds the walkers in the barn, who stopped to consider that the girl might be inside? But she is. Thanks to hot tempered Shane busting open the lock to kill the barn's undead inhabitants, Sophia is finally found. After six episodes of hoping that she might be found alive, hope is crushed by her little zombie legs walking through the barn door. In the end no one can put her down but Rick, who takes one for the team and puts a bullet in her head.

7. Shane

Shane needed to die. There is no argument about it. Sure, the guy saved everyone more times than most, but he was a danger to himself and everyone else. He was a shoot first and...well, lets face it, Shane wasn't the type to apologize later. With his focus on getting Lori back from Rick, Shane began to go a little crazy. After murdering Otis to save Carl, which one might argue was a nice thing to do, Shane's sanity begins to plummet. Once his insanity pushes him to try to murder Rick, there is no choice left but for Rick to kill him instead. Little did they know, it no longer takes a bite or scratch for one to return from the dead, and Shane soon rises, only to be put down by young Carl himself.

8. Car Accident Walker

When Beth slips into some sort of state from shock, Rick and Glenn are sent into town to find Hershel, who is at a local bar getting drunk. After being gone most of the day, Lori begins to worry about her husband and asks Daryl to go into town after them. After one hilarious Popeye insult thrown in her direction, Lori is left to fend for herself. Without telling anyone where she is going, Lori borrows a car and heads to town after them. While looking at a map instead of paying attention to the road, Lori hits a walker that is crossing the street and flips her car. After being blacked out for who knows how long, Lori wakes to find a walker shoving his face through a hole in the glass, not caring that the skin is being pulled back from his cheeks. Despite his determination, he is put down via turn signal bar to the eye.

Get your friends together and grab an abundance of your favorite alcoholic beverage this October 14th for Season 3 of "The Walking Dead" premiering on AMC.

To stay up-to-the-minute on all things walker related, follow @WalkingDead_AMC on Twitter and visit "The Walking Dead" on Facebook. For more be sure to hit up the official "The Walking Dead" page on AMC.com.

VISIT THE EVILSHOP @ AMAZON!
Got news? Click hereto submit it!
"Like" us on the Dread Central Facebook Fan Page!

Discuss "The Walking Dead" in the comments section below!

The supermarket is one of the centers of the community. It's a place where neighbors go to buy their groceries while catching up with each other. They exchange stories, laughs and gossip in a friendly, comfortable atmosphere. That's a nice picture, but unfortunately it's not always the case in reality.

In fact, as we get further and further from the "Leave it to Beaver" era, the supermarkets we visit are usually "superstores" and almost never owned by a member of the community anymore. But maybe there is something to be said for a place where you can go to buy a pound of baloney, a prom dress and get an oil change all in one stop…and we wonder why "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" is the hottest show on television. Save us from the superstore.

This leads us to Bait 3D (review here). This all-new horror film hits DVD and Blu-ray on September 18 and features action surrounding a supermarket submerged by a freak tsunami! And you thought the parking was limited at your local Walmart. The survivors find themselves trapped in a very precarious situation and realize they must work together to survive. Hey, if the high prices don't get you, the great whites will.

To celebrate the release of Bait 3D, we're taking a look back at some past supermarket nightmares (and we're not talking about the price of coffee, although that is frightening enough - yowza!). We mean horrific scenes like you'll find in Splinter or the memorable peaceful moment amid a world of insanity in 28 Days Later. Or how about the hilarious (and bloody) intro to From Dusk Till Dawn…well, that was a liquor store, but one man's vice is another man's staple. Anyway, those are just the honorable mentions! Plenty of bad things happen in the supermarket. Take a look at our Top Seven Supermarket Slaughters.

The Mist (2007)
The Mist is certainly one of the crown jewels of horror films set in a market. It's a classic, claustrophobic Stephen King tale of desperation and hopelessness…and it has an OMG ending that no parent can watch without experiencing the sensation of a dagger stabbing through their heart. The Mist is the story of a diverse group of individuals trapped in a local grocery store after a mysterious fog drifts over their town. Unfortunately for them, this particular fog contains horrendous, unspeakable horrors which terrorize the survivors inside the store. And fans of "The Walking Dead" know that The Mist was an early collaboration among some of the key players from the show with writer/director Frank Darabont and performers Laurie Holden, Jeffrey DeMunn and Melissa McBride all working together years before they would get lost in a zombie apocalypse in Atlanta.

Zombieland (2009)
Perhaps no one has ever risked more for a Twinkie than Woody Harrelson's character, Tallahassee, in Zombieland. In pursuit of the soon to be extinct snack, Tallahassee and his partner, Columbus (Jesse Eisneberg), venture into a supermarket that just happens to be loaded with large, bloodthirsty zombies. Containing a beautiful tribute to Deliverance, which includes Harrelson's rendition of "Dueling Banjoes" and the line "You got a purty mouth", the supermarket scene in Zombieland is wonderfully humorous and gruesome. And it may be the only scene in the history of horror where a guy beats a zombie to death with a banjo.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Although not a large amount of time was spent in the actual market in Shaun of the Dead, the store was Shaun's destination during one of the funniest scenes in the film. Shaun walks to the market totally oblivious to the zombie infestation around him. Upon arriving in the market, which also happens to be overrun with walking dead, Shaun not only doesn't notice the bloody handprints on the soda cooler door, he actually slips in a puddle of blood and also thinks nothing of the fact that the clerk (who is no doubt zombie food at this point) isn't even there to take his money, which he simply leaves on the counter ("a few quid short!"). This stroll to the supermarket was the perfect start for what became one of the genre's most beloved horror-comedies in a long time.

Army of Darkness (1992)
"That's right…Shop Smart: Shop S-Mart. You got that?!" Who could forget that our favorite slayer of Deadites, Ashley J. "Ash" Williams, had quite the showdown with an evil baddie in his place of employment, the S-Mart, in the culmination of Army of Darkness? The S-Mart provides a great background for Ash to go wild one last time. Decked out in his snappy S-Mart uniform, Ash is seen describing how he could have been king to a co-worker (played by Ted Raimi) when suddenly a Deadite appears with bad intentions and Ash is forced to go all medieval on her ass. A great finish to a legendary horror series.

Universal Soldier (1992)
Okay, so maybe Universal Solider isn't known as a horror film, but you can't deny the brutality of this scene. Sgt. Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren) has gone off the deep end. He drags two dead bodies into the market cooler while wearing a necklace made out of ears. He's also accompanied by a guy eating raw meat from the supermarket butcher's counter. In between trying to make dead guys stand at attention and shooting police officers in the head, Sgt. Scott goes on an impressive paranoid rant about traitors and how we need to fear and destroy them. This supermarket scene really injects a horrific element into this memorable movie.

Alien Raiders (2008)
Directed by Ben Rock, this film is all about the supermarket. Alien Raiders begins with what appears to be a late night supermarket hold-up/hostage situation, but we find out there is much, much more going on here. As it turns out, the attackers are not after money, but an alien parasite that is inhabiting the people barricaded within the market's walls. The film is a mysterious whodunit kind of experience that originally carried a working title of…that's right…Supermarket.

Natural Born Killers (1994)
After getting bitten by a rattlesnake in the desert, Mickey and Mallory Knox need to find an antidote for the venom and invade a drugstore. This is one of the most outrageous and game-changing scenes in this legendary film. The action begins with Mickey icing a clerk for hitting the alarm and ends with Mallory getting apprehended by the police, a big shootout and Mickey's capture and beating at the hands of the police force. This is a huge transition scene that not only ends up with our two anti-heroes in custody but shows the insane lengths to which Detective Jack Scagnetti is willing to go to capture them.

There you have seven supermarket adventures that should get you primed and ready for Bait 3D, which drops on DVD and Blu-ray today!